#I might not end up keeping the best friend choice in my final pt of the chapter but I’ll cherish it nonetheless | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drewexe · 2 years ago

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Like The Stars Pt. 4

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

Pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, sex lessons au, friends to lovers

Word Count: ~8,3k

Includes: high school seniors (everyone is legal of age); canon bisexual mc; side characters donghyuck, renjun, and karina; profanities; obviously, sex lessons; kind of a slow burn?; idiots in love/miscommunication sort of (you decide which one fits better); does this count as semi-public sex? they’re on a balcony; protected sex! ft. thigh riding; my precious little nonsense epilogue

Summary: you’d had a crush on renjun for as long as you could remember, but your lack of experience always stopped you from taking the first step; it’s a good thing you have your trusted friend jaemin to help you out

Author’s note: the day is upon us, i present to you the finale of this short story ! thank you so much to everyone who stuck by and loved it until the end, you’re the best <33 disclaimer: do i hate miscommunication as a trope? yes; could they have resolved things easily and cutely? definitely; did writing it this way take ten years off my life? absolutely; do i have any regrets whatsoever? nope. plz don’t hate me, ehe~ you can shout at me about it tho, if you want! second disclaimer: the movie mentioned in this is included only to serve as a plot device, also the title of the story finally makes sense yayy

When you got to school the next morning, you were early enough to assume that none of your friends, or classmates for that matter, would be there. Yet as you made your way past the window that gave free peeks into your classroom to anyone passing by, you noticed a familiar figure already inside.

“Jaem!” you beamed as soon as you entered the classroom, rushing over to cling onto his arm.

“Morning, princess,” he greeted you, ruffling your hair gently and very possibly ruining the hairstyle you had carefully worked on. You swatted his hand away playfully and glared at him. “You seem way too excited for such an early hour, what’s going on? By the way, how are you feeling, still good?”

“Better than ever,” you chuckled, pulling away to look at him with a grin. “My parents are away for the weekend, do you maybe wanna come over and keep me company for a while?”

The boy raised his eyebrows, a sound between a scoff and a chuckle leaving his lips.

“Since when do you invite me over for sleepovers and not Karina?” he asked, as if doubtful. “Or why not ask Renjun instead?” he teased after a second. “You know, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to come, and you could spend some quality time together.”

If you hadn't spent so much time with him and his smirks for the past couple of months, you would have bought that the one on his lips right now was nothing more than teasing. But you had learned to notice the small twitch giving out that he was faking it. You couldn't help but question it in your mind, the implication that little forced smirk held, yet decided to not mention it. Instead, you rolled your eyes at him and poked his chest.

“I'm inviting you, Nana, not them,” you shook your head a little. “Of course, if you say no I’ll have no choice but to ask someone else, but I just wanted to spend time with you, y’know.”

His eyebrows shot up and he chuckled slightly, crossing his arms. And you were almost sure that whatever he was preparing to say, he would be faking that too.

“Princess, don't get me wrong, but don’t you think that it’s maybe time to focus on Renjun now?” he questioned and your smile fell a little. He wasn't wrong, really, but you couldn't push yourself to say that Renjun wasn’t the one you wanted anymore. Not yet, not first thing this early in the morning and not in the middle of a random classroom.

“Well, I… I know you said we’ve covered everything but… I thought that I might need a little bit more time to get used to it…” The excuse sounded dumb even to you, so you decided to use part of the truth instead. “I enjoy spending time with you, Nana. Not just when you’re teaching me about sex, I like the cuddles and the jokes and your presence around me,” you sighed and something in his posture shifted. “I know we didn't spend that much time together before but that doesn't mean we have to stop after we’ve,” you couldn't help but pause for a second to recollect your thoughts, “finished with the lessons”.

“I didn't mean it in that way, Y/N,” he said quietly, cupping your cheek gently. “I've had so much fun with you, I'd actually hate it if we stopped hanging out,” he added as a little smile curved his lips and that made you feel a bit better again.

“We don't have to have sex tonight, or ever again, if you don't want to,” you assured him, although the thought still stung a little - you didn’t want all of it to end. “Just come over, we can watch a movie or something like that.”

“Count me in on that,” Jaemin nodded and ruffled your hair again, grinning happily and bringing back the smile on your own face.

“In on what?” a voice suddenly joined in and you turned to see Donghyuck had just walked into the classroom. “Are you planning a party without me? I will end you both if you are. Unless it's a surprise party for me.”

“Not really a party, Hyuck,” you laughed and shook your head. “Just Jaem and me, cause I'll be home alone for a few days.”

“Ew, please keep me uninvited then,” Hyuck scrunched his nose in disgust. “The idea that you two are fuck buddies is making me question this friend group so much.”

“Bold words for someone who spent the last three years trying to get in Karina’s bed,” Jaemin retorted, laughing at the way Hyuck's face fired up.

The knock on your door came a few minutes earlier than the hour you two had agreed on, yet you still rushed to open the front door.

“God, we haven't seen each other in ages!” Jaemin teased as he entered, fully aware of how excited you were and apparently that thought amused him.

“Shut up, loser, I'm just being polite enough to not leave you hanging at the door,” you rolled your eyes.

“Of course you are, princess,” he smiled as he leaned over to peck your forehead surprisingly. It was such a domestic little gesture that it caught you off guard. He seemed to be just as startled with his own action as you were as he cleared his throat awkwardly after pulling away again. “So, what's the plan for tonight?”

You shook away your surprise and smiled at him again as you led him further inside and let him set his stuff down in the living room.

“So, we are going to watch my favorite movie tonight and you cannot say no,” you said, nodding your head in the direction of the TV where the movie was already loaded. “I have also ordered us pizza,” you added and he glanced at the table where the two boxes were waiting for you.

Jaemin didn’t really even try to disagree with that plan and so the two of you settled on the couch, your legs thrown over his lap, and you played the movie. The opening scene of Stardust started playing and you couldn't help but smile as you watched the main character's father running away from the village he lived in to visit the magical market.

The movie went on and as much as you tried to focus on it, you started wondering if Jaeming was enjoying it. You couldn't help but glance at him every so often, just to check for any reaction.

“Y/N, the last time I checked, the movie wasn't playing on my cheek,” he chuckled and you looked away from him immediately, embarrassed.

“I’m just not sure whether you're enjoying it,” you pouted. Jaemin shook his head slightly in your peripheral vision.

Instead of replying, he pulled you closer to himself and made you lean your head on his shoulder.

“There, you can't look at me now,” he said. “Watch the movie, not me.”

A sigh left your lips but you obliged, focusing on the two main characters. One of your favorite scenes was coming soon and you smiled to yourself. The main characters were going to get caught by pirates and that meant that they would soon be realizing that they’re in love. A smile curved your lips again and you signed quietly. You felt Jaemin shift a little next to you, as if to adjust himself so you could cuddle more comfortably.

The film went on and soon you ended up tucked into his side, one of your arms wrapped around his abdomen and one of his hands playing with your hair. With your eyes on the screen and the lack of ability to check every three seconds whether he was enjoying it, the movie went by pretty quickly and before you knew it, the ending credits were playing. Reluctantly, you pulled away from Jaemin and looked at him again, waiting for his commentary as anxious tension filled you up.

“I can see why you like the movie,” he said pensively. You blinked, unsure how to take that until he turned to you and smiled. “It’s a really beautiful story. And also, there were witches and pirates. So, you know, obviously, I love it.” You felt relief wash over you at the confirmation.

“Glad to hear that!” you smiled. “I mean, not that you had to like it, but it’s good that you did.”

He laughed at your comment. So to stop yourself from rambling, you refocused on cleaning up the empty plates from the table and taking them to the kitchen. When you returned to the living room, you found Jaemin looking through the window.

“The stars are visible tonight,” he said as he turned to you and smiled. “The movie made me think about that. I’ve never actually paid them much attention,” he added. “Do you think they might be actual people living their life up there?”

“Oh, I love watching the stars!” you exclaimed excitedly. The stars had been one of your first friends, unchanged no matter where your parents took you, and always there. You had grown up looking at them whenever you felt lonely and so they held a special spot in your heart. “And, well, I haven’t had the chance to meet a fallen star myself so I don’t know what they are really,” you chuckled. “We can take some blankets to the balcony and I can show you some things though,” you offered, hopeful eyes looking at Jaemin.

He raised his eyebrows slightly as if surprised by your enthusiasm, but as he slowly approached you, a smile curved his lip.

“I’d love that, yes,” he said, ruffling your hair affectionately. You didn’t need much more of a confirmation to rush over to your room and pull out your favorite blanket.

In no time, you two had set up a comfortable place to lay on your balcony, surrounded by a nest of fluffy blankets and a few pillows, and you were on your backs, looking at the sky. The visibility wasn’t ideal, of course, yet small sparkling dots were noticeable here and there.

“That over there is Cassiopeia,” you pointed excitedly and Jaemin followed the direction of your finger, trying to spot the constellation. “You see? It’s those five stars that look a bit like a stretched out and messy W?” He hummed in confirmation and you could see him smile in the dim light of your bedroom over your heads as he recognized the constellation.

“Show me something else?” he asked. You could see the stars in his eyes, reflecting the ones in the sky and his excitement made warmth bubble up in your chest. You had been scared he'd find your affection for the stars dumb or ridiculous, yet here he was next to you, looking at you like you were showing him the secrets of the universe.

Forcing yourself to look away from him before you could dwell on the growing feeling inside you, you tried to find something else that would be easy to spot. The city lights limited the options even though your family's house was kind of on the outskirts, yet your eyes did see a recognizable shape.

“Well, can you see the five stars, like, kinda to the left above Cassiopeia, that look like a tilted kid’s drawing of a house? That’s Cepheus, Cassiopeia’s husband. They actually come from Greek mythology. They tried to sacrifice their daughter Andromeda to a sea monster because her mom thought that it’d be a great idea to boast that she’s more beautiful than the sea nymphs. It’s okay though, cause Perseus saved her and then made her his queen,” you explained. You moved your eyes again to look at him and found him already turned to you.

“That’s kinda dark,” he grimaced, but then a smile curved his lips and he added, “but they're beautiful". You knew he was talking about the night sky and its little gems. Yet a part of you felt like the compliment was for you more than for them.

Gently he reached over to take your hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a kiss against the back of it. The action left you flustered, warmth once again filling you up and you couldn't bring yourself to suppress your feelings anymore as much as you wanted to.

“Jaemin…” you started, unsure what you were going to say exactly. He looked at you expectantly, a soft smile on his lips.

You couldn't make words process in your brain. The shift in your own feelings was still too overwhelming to talk about. Jaemin was one of your closest friends, and even if your sex lessons hadn’t managed to ruin your friendship, who was to say that your feelings wouldn’t. And even though you had decided to tell him, a part of you was terrified by it. In the end, you just shook your head slightly and looked up at the night sky again.

“Look, you see that very very bright star over there?” you pointed. “That's Vega. It's the brightest star currently visible, as Sirius is below the horizon right now.”

When a response didn't come for a while, you looked at him again. He was still looking at you, some sort of inner conflict visible on his face. Suddenly, he rolled over on the blanket and before you even realized what he was doing, his body was on top of yours, his arms on both sides of your head.

“God, you are gonna drive me crazy,” he whispered softly.

You couldn't help but look at him wide-eyed. Never before had he done something like this, even with all of the times you had had your lessons. Yes, he had never been shy to show he finds you attractive and enjoys what you two were doing… but this was different, this felt like it was coming from something deeper than just sexual tension. Your heart skipped a beat, the feeling of hope blooming in your chest again.

“You're just sitting here, talking about some big balls of hot gas billions of kilometers away from us with this sweet smile as if they are the most amazing thing in the whole world,” he went on, shaking his head slightly. “And all I can think about is how beautiful you look in their light and how much I want to pull you on top of me and make you feel so good that you'd look at me the same way.”

A gasp escaped you and you opened your mouth to say something back, to tell him that whenever you looked at him, it felt like looking at a star, that as beautiful the stars were, they couldn't compare to the way his light and warmth made you feel. But he didn't let you speak, instead leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. Thoughts left your mind as you kissed back, reaching up with one hand to bury it in his hair, tugging slightly on it. Neither of you really took control, neither deepened the kiss, instead, it was filled with unspoken feelings.

“Jaem?” you asked quietly once he pulled away. You didn't dare voice out the hope that all of this had ignited in you, scared that you'd find out that you had imagined everything.

“Tell me no, Y/N,” he responded, the corner of his mouth curving upside. “Please tell me no, tell me that I can’t have you right here and now, on your balcony. Because there's only this much I can handle.”

You were trying to figure out what he meant. You had invited him over, you'd even hinted that you could “use some more practice”, you had technically left the decision to him. But then again, true to his word, never before had he been the first one to go for it, he had always waited for you to ask or make the first step. Until now. Now, he was already on top of you, and if you said yes, you knew it would not be because of the lessons.

“What makes you think I don't want that? Sex with you under the stars sounds amazing honestly,” you said softly instead. His eyebrows shot up for a second, yet he didn't say anything.

Instead, his lips crashed against yours once again, this time much more desperately, as if he was trying to take all of you at once. He pulled away again, only to drag his lips down your neck, biting down at the base of it. Your hand was still buried in his hair so you tugged on it harder, whimpering out and leaning your head to the side.

“You can… leave hickeys if you want…” you mumbled, closing your eyes. “I’d like that.”

Jaemin started sucking on your skin harder, nibbling every now and then. You were lost in the feeling, his kisses felt like a blessing you had no idea whether you deserved. Your eyes opened up again only when you felt him pull away. You found him looking down at your neck as if contemplating his work. You didn't dare imagine what you looked like, because the idea of your neck covered in marks by him only fueled your arousal.

“You are so beautiful, have I told you that before?” he asked and you chuckled, rolling your eyes a little.

“Just now, I think,” you retorted. “And a few other times before that.” Yet you couldn’t deny the way your heart soared at his compliments.

“I’m gonna keep saying it,” he smiled before lifting himself up and off of you. Before you could even question it, he pulled his shirt off and threw it to the side. “Help me out a little, there’s too many clothes on you at the moment.”

Your top was the first one to go as soon as you sat up, Jaemin’s impatient fingers taking it off almost right away. Frantic hands traveling up and down his body, you were kissing him again, his hands around your waist and pressing you impossibly close to his body.

You only pulled away to take a breath, meeting his eyes. There was a question in your eyes but he either didn’t see it or decided to ignore it. Instead, he pushed a strand of hair away from your face and pecked your lips.

“Are you sure that this is okay?” he asked reluctantly.

“Jaemin, I could not be more sure about it,” you replied, reaching up to cup his face in your hands. “It’s not just okay, you know? I want it. I want you.”

His eyes widened a little at your words and he bit his lips. Did he understand what you meant? There was conflict on his face for a moment. Was he thinking about how to reject you? Or would he maybe, just maybe, reciprocate your feelings?

“If only you really did,” he muttered with a sigh, so quietly you barely heard it.

But you did. And you froze. And what had been a tiny sense of hope before was now so clearly obvious you didn’t understand how you only realized it now. Your heart started thumping loudly in your chest.

“No, I mean it,” you said quickly, but his eyes refused to meet yours. “Jaem, listen to me, I’m serious.”

“I know, princess,” he finally looked at you again with a forced smile. “Ignore that, okay? Where were we?”

You tried to speak up again, but he didn’t give you a chance, kissing you again to stop you from speaking. Your resolve started to crumble. You could talk about it after, you told yourself. So you moved your hands down his body, reaching into his untied sweatpants to stroke him. You were not surprised to find him already hard, but it did make you smile in the kiss.

Jaemin groaned quietly at your touch and quickly helped you out of your shorts, then your underwear followed them. And suddenly you found yourself on Jaemin’s thigh, your bare pussy rubbing against the fabric of his sweatpants, and it made you let out a whimper. He chuckled quietly, leaning back on one of his arms, the other wrapping around your waist to support you.

“You said you want me, no?” he asked teasingly and you nodded quickly. “Come on then, show me how much.”

You didn’t need convincing, not with his commanding tone that sent shivers down your spine. You started rolling your hips, at first slowly, but the friction clouded your mind and holding back seemed impossible. Your head fell on his shoulder as moans escaped your mouth, and you were sure the way your nails were digging in his chest would leave marks. The fabric under you was sticky but you couldn’t bring yourself to care and he didn’t seem to mind either.

“Such a good girl,” he hummed next to your ear and you shivered slightly. “Look at me, princess,” he asked and you forced yourself to lift your head.

A finger tapped against your lips. It took you less than a moment of hesitation to open your mouth. Smirking a little to himself, Jaemin pushed two of his fingers in and you wrapped your lips around them, sucking gently and bringing your tongue around them.

Maybe he didn’t expect you’d actually do it, or maybe he was surprised at how easily you obliged, but his jaw fell open with a soft smitten expression.

“You never fail to amaze me,” he chuckled as he pulled his fingers out and you shrugged slightly with a small smile.

“I do know a thing or two, y’know,” you said, yet as you’d stopped moving, the heat between your legs painfully reminded you of itself. “Jaem, please, can you fuck me already?” you pleased softly.

“Your wish is my command,” he smiled, yet his smile dropped a little the next moment. “I don’t have lube in me though, it’s in my bag inside…”

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. You could feel how wet you were already and you didn’t have the patience to wait.

He hesitated for another long moment, before making you lift yourself so he could take off his sweatpants and underwear. He did pull a condom packet out of his pocket though before ditching the clothing items to the side.

His fingers reached between your legs, two of his fingers teasing at your entrance for a second before he pushed them inside with ease. A hint of surprise passed on his face but he didn’t ponder on it, instead focused on spreading you out as much as he could before either of you lost your patience.

Then he put on the condom and flipped you two around so you could lay on your back as he finally pushed himself inside you carefully. You were genuinely amazed at his self-control to go slow on you.

“You feel so good around me, princess,” he mumbled, pecking your lips.

“And you feel good inside me,” you offered in return, smiling softly through tears pricking at your eyes.

You could admit that it wasn’t as easy to get used to this time. He seemed to notice it too so he stroked your cheek gently, murmuring little praises to distract you as he waited for you to adjust.

When you finally felt comfortable enough, he started moving slowly. You expected him to speed up gradually like he did last time. But instead the rolls of his hips were slow and deep. His body was pressed flush against yours at almost all times and the heat was making your head spin in pleasure.

You knew this wasn’t about physical pleasure only anymore. Not for you, and not for him either. It was so much more in many ways.

You were close and he was too, you could feel it. So you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down in a kiss, as sweet and intimate as the way your bodies were moving together. When you finally slipped over the edge, your moan was swallowed in the kiss. He thrust inside you a few more times, reaching his own high not long after.

For a short moment, you were in a daze as Jaemin slipped out of you and discarded the condom, then helped you put on your underwear and his own, taking a spare blanket and wrapping it around both of you as he pulled you in his arms.

The warmth of his body next to yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he held you close. It felt like home. How had you been so blind all this time…

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” he whispered and you looked up to his face. He had never seemed so open and genuine before.

Or maybe he had always been and you’d just never noticed. Whichever it was, your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes returned to the sky above you as you smiled.

“There’s something special about this,” you started gently, hoping he’d understand you this time, “about this moment, about the stars tonight. And that something is you, Jaem.”

He didn’t reply. But his lips pressed against your forehead softly, almost the ghost of a kiss. You waited for a few loud heartbeats more for him to speak up. And then you reached the conclusion that he wouldn’t.

Stealing a glance, you found him looking at the stars with sadness in his eyes. And you realized he didn’t understand.

“Nana, I need to talk to you,” you sighed, lifting yourself on one arm to look at him better. “About the deal and-”

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow,” he looked at you, smiling. A pained smile. And you could guess what he was thinking.

“No, please, I need you to listen to me,” you almost pleaded but he shook his head and pulled you gently back in his arms.

“Tomorrow, I promise,” he mumbled and pecked your lips. “For now, let’s get some rest, okay?”

And you had a bad feeling about it. You knew that you shouldn’t postpone the conversation anymore. But sleep was already catching up to you, and he was warm and comfortable, and you felt safe in his arms…

And you were drifting away before you even knew it.

You woke up in your bed the next morning. Jaemin’s hand was wrapped around your waist loosely, breathing light and you guessed he was still asleep. He must have brought you in after you’d fallen asleep. You smiled to yourself, stroking his hair softly and he hummed in his sleep, nuzzling into the pillow. You held back a chuckle so as to not wake him up and carefully slipped out of the bed.

You were still only in your underwear so you looked around to find something to wear and your eyes fell on his tshirt. You considered it for a moment and then slipped it on, heading downstairs.

Bare feet tapping on the floor, you made your way to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine. A side effect of all the time spent with Jaemin was that you knew how to prepare coffee the way he liked it so you decided to prepare it before he woke up. And you also started working on one for yourself.

Just as the coffee smell filled the air, another person walked into the kitchen and you looked up at Jaemin, smiling. He’d put on some clothes. He took a moment just looking at you, probably taking in the sight of you in his shirt.

“Morning, sleepy head,” you greeted, nodding towards the coffee machine. “You’re right on time, it’s almost ready.”

Chuckling, he made his way over to you.

“This is literally the hottest thing you’ve ever done, I could literally kiss you right now,” he said and you grinned.

“I don’t see anything stopping you.”

He took the invitation, leaning closer, his arms holding onto the counter on both sides of your body, trapping you in as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours.

When he pulled away, his eyes were ever so soft and you reached up to ruffle his hair, before turning around to turn off the machine and pour the coffee into two cups, then turning back to him and handing him his. He took a sip and signed happily.

“This is what heaven must be like and you’re a literal angel,” he joked, eyes twinkling with happiness.

“Well I’m amazing, you know, or so I was been told last night at least,” you teased.

You regretted it the second that his smile fell and he pulled away from you. You opened your mouth to ask what was wrong, but words caught in your throat as he walked to the other side of the kitchen and leaned back on the opposite counter, focusing on the cup in his hand with a guarded expression on his face.

“Nana, what’s wrong?” you finally voiced out. He didn’t reply, taking slow sips of his coffee. “Come on, tell me,” you pushed, “did I do something wrong or-”

“I think it’s time we drop the deal,” he said suddenly. You flinched. “You wanted to talk so let’s talk. There’s nothing else that you need to learn from me and I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

“Why?” you asked quietly. But you knew why - it was the same reason why you had considered calling it off yourself.

“What do you mean why?” he scoffed, forcing himself to laugh. “We’re done with the course, it’s time that we stop… it’s time that you stop doing with me things you should be doing with the person you’re in love with.”

You swallowed heavily and put your cup down on the counter walking over to him. Was it not obvious already? It had been obvious about Renjun, so why wasn’t he seeing it now?

“But why should I stop, Jaem?” you asked and reached over to take his hand but he pulled it away. A sting of pain flashed through you. “You promised that you’d listen, you haven’t even heard yet what I want to say.”

“I don’t think I need to hear it,” he chuckled and you flinched. “I’ve made up my mind. It was fun while it lasted but it’s time it ends.”

And to emphasize his words, he downed his coffee and walked over to the other room. His bag was already ready and you realized he had already decided to leave even before this conversation. You rushed after him but he was already at the door, putting on his shoes.

“Will you just let me speak?” you asked, frustration evident in your voice. “Jaemin, I’m not gonna force you to keep giving me sex lessons, this is something completely different!”

“It is,” he agreed as if you were on the same page. “The lessons have gone too far. Everything that happened last night proved it.”

“So what, you’re afraid I’ll find out that you’re in love with me so you’ll run away before I can tell you my side?” Your frustration took the best of you. You hadn’t intended to say that. You should have just told him you loved him instead. But th words had already left your mouth and you couldn’t take them back now.

His eyes widened in surprise for a second, then a sad smile curved his lips again.

“Smart girl,” he praised, but it felt like a slap instead. “Give me some time, okay? A day or something, I can’t do this right now.”

He hesitated for a second, then leaned down to peck your lips. And then he was out the door.

You wanted to go after him, but you were stuck. He hadn’t even let you confess but you felt like he’d already rejected you. Tears pricked at your eyes and by the time you managed to make yourself open the door, he was gone.

You’d texted him over 50 times already. You’d called almost as much. He was not responding in any way.

You went to his house but his mother told you he hadn’t come back - she thought he was still with you. You dismissed her concern when she asked about your puffy eyes.

You went to his favorite coffee shop but he wasn’t there. You went to the school campus even though it was Saturday and you knew he wouldn’t be there. You went to every other place you could think of.

If he was avoiding you, you decided that you needed help finding him. You pulled out your phone, vaguely hopeful that he might have replied to your texts. He hadn’t. So you called Hyuck. Frustratingly enough, he also didn’t pick up. But you were desperate so you kept trying.

“For Christ’s sake, this better be an emergency,” he picked up finally, annoyance clear as day in his tone. In the background, you heard Karina’s concerned voice ask what was going on.

“Donghyuck, I’m sorry, it’s important,” you started, almost tripping over your words at the speed they were coming out of your mouth. “Jaemin has not been answering my texts, he’s not picking up my calls and I looked everywhere I could think of but I have no idea where he is and I need to talk to him.”

There was a short silence.

“The dumbass outed himself and he’s now scared of your reaction, isn’t he?” It could have been a lucky guess. But you knew better.

“You knew about it?” you asked, a hint of betrayal in your voice.

“Of course I did,” Hyuck sighed. “He’s been in love with you for a year and he’s almost as obvious about it as you.” You froze.

“And you didn’t think to tell me about it from the beginning?” you nearly shouted at him.

“Because it was not my business to meddle in his love life if he had decided to go through with this!” the boy defended himself. In the background, Karina seemed to have more questions now. He shushed her softly, before speaking up again. “Plus, first of all, I knew you’d come around and fall in love with him too, sooner or later! And I did warn you and try to hint it to you, okay? Do you think I did it because I enjoy watching one of my best friends suffer because of this dumb deal of yours? Just because he didn’t show it in front of you, doesn’t mean it was ever really okay. And I love you both, but I am tired of being your relationship therapist, okay? I don’t know where he is, but you’ll have to figure this out yourself.”

The line was silent for a while. A sense of guilt was choking you up. You’d barely gasped out an apology when the line went dead. You looked at the phone screen and Jaemin’s smile on the wallpaper made tears well in your eyes again. There had been a part of you in denial about the way you’d been hurting him but Hyuck’s words had forced you to realize it. For a year. You’d assumed he had fallen for you the same way you had. But you had been so wrong.

As you scrolled through your contacts, you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of what you were about to do.

“Y/N?” Renjun asked with a hint of confusion. You’d always called him so rarely. “What’s up?”

“Hey, uh…” you hesitated. “Do you happen to know where Jaemin is?”

“Jaemin? No, I haven’t spoken to him today,” he replied, but his tone shifted to concern immediately. “Is everything alright? You don’t sound too good.”

“Yeah, I’m…” you started, but what was the use in lying? “I did something really dumb and I need to talk to him but he’s avoiding me and I don’t know where to find him but I need to tell him that…” you took a short breath. You were still scared of the words. But if you could say it in front of Renjun, you could say it to Jaemin too. “That I love him.”

“You need to tell him that?” Renjun asked, confused. “Doesn’t he know it already? I thought you two were dating and just didn’t want to tell us yet.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. The whole situation was ridiculous. Of course, Jaemin wouldn’t tell him what was going on, not when he knew how important it was to you. But Renjun wasn’t dumb, of course he would see through the two of you. And from the pieces he had, of course he’d reach the most reasonable conclusion.

“It’s… a bit more complicated than that,” you said. “And that’s exactly why I need to clear things with him. Please, I just need to find out where he is, can you help me?”

“I’ll do my best,” he replied. You thanked him about four times before he finally convinced you that he’d need to hang up so he can call Jaemin.

You waited anxiously to hear back from him. When you finally did, it was in the form of a text. ‘He’s at the city park near your place, but he might be heading home soon’.

The park. You hadn’t thought of the park. How could you not have thought of the park?

Typing back a quick ‘thank you’, you immediately rushed out of your house. The walk was a daze, your mind only cleared once you saw a familiar cotton candy stall. And on a bench next to it was Jaemin. Taking a deep breath, you almost ran over.

He looked up and flinched back in surprise as soon as he realized it was you in front of him. His lips formed a small o as he glanced down at his phone and realization hit him. He scoffed quietly and then looked up at you again.

“You look like a mess,” were his first words to you.

“Why would you agree to the stupid deal if you already had feelings for me, you idiot?” was your reply, equal parts desperation and relief washing over you.

He sighed and nodded to the free spot next to him. You sat down, relieved that at least he didn’t try to run away again.

“Donghyuck can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?” he chuckled, turning to look at you.

“No, Donghyuck kept it shut for too long,” you scowled. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I did it because I was in love with you,” came his response. “I’d been in love with you for so long and you never even noticed. And you liked Renjun, so I didn’t say anything. But then you came to me, you wanted me. I knew it wasn’t the same, I knew your end goal was Renjun. But you were asking me for help, how can I say no when you need my help? So I said yes because I thought it would be fine. Because I was selfish and happy that I’d get a chance to be with you even if it had to be like this. And because I hoped that you might change your mind. But it became so hard to hold back, you know? To tell what was real and what I wanted to be real.”

You fought back your tears. This wasn’t your place to cry. You had been the one to hurt him.

“Jaem, I am so sorry that I made you go through that,” you said softly. “If I had known, I would have asked. I never meant to…”

“I know,” he shrugged. “You don’t need to apologize. I knew what I was agreeing to, I just thought I’d handle it better.”

“No, listen,” you started again. “And I need you to actually listen this time. I never meant to hurt you, but I know that I did. So I do owe you an apology. But that’s not everything that I have to say. Yes, when we agreed on the lessons, I thought I wanted to be with Renjun. But the truth is that I really don’t. You say you hoped I’d change my mind, yet you are so oblivious to the fact that I actually did. The past months have been some of the happiest in my life, you know? I spent them with someone who laughed with me when I was happy, who held me tight when I was lonely. I spent them with a person who would always make me feel safe. A person that would smile at me bright enough to lighten up the worst of days, and look at me as if I am the most precious thing in his world. A person that would stick up little stars on my wall for hours even though nothing of it makes sense to him. Someone who sat through my favorite movie and loved it because it was my favorite movie. Someone that didn’t care about the stars but let me talk about them for an hour just because they made me happy. Someone that apparently cared more about me than about his own happiness.”

You made a pause to recollect your spiraling thoughts. Jaemin was looking at you, wide eyes and mouth half open in surprise. And you knew the hope in his eyes and the way the corner of his lips was shyly trying to curve into a smile.

“And yet when I told that someone that it’s him that I want, he thought I was lying. When I told him that he’s special, he refused to listen. And when I tried to tell him that I’m in love with him, he ran away. What I was trying to tell you since yesterday, Jaemin, is that I am in love with you. Have been for a while. It took me too long to realize but I mean it. You were jealous of the stars when there’s no need for you to be. I loved them because they made me feel at home. But you make me feel at home too. Na Jaemin, you make me feel like the stars do.”

At first, he didn’t say anything. He was still staring at you with a smitten expression, yet the smile was back on his face. That beautiful smile that you loved more than anything else. Carefully, as if still in disbelief, he reached over to take your hand and you didn’t hesitate for a second to intertwine your fingers with his.

“Like the stars?” He repeated. “Really?”

“Yes,” you giggled, “like the stars. Like those big balls of hot gas billions of kilometers away.”

“Oh, that makes it sound awful,” he cringed and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry I ever called them that way. Let’s stick with stars”.

“Okay, we’ll stick with stars,” you agreed. Your body was still buzzing from the emotional chaos it had been through, yet maybe it would all be okay in the end. “As long as you agree to stick with me. And I mean that as in, I want you to be my boyfriend, Nana.”

He looked down at your intertwined fingers instead of replying. His eyes lit up when he noticed something.

“You’re wearing the ring?” he asked, thumb rubbing over the piece of metal.

“Haven’t taken it off since we got them,” you nodded. “It was that date that made me realize that I love you so I didn’t wanna risk losing it. Back then I didn’t know you liked me too so I had to cling onto the memory.”

“How fitting that I chose to come here then,” he smiled as he lifted your hand to press a kiss on the back of your palm. “I didn’t think you’d agree to the date. I almost wanted to tell you back then, but you didn’t see it as a real date and I figured it wasn’t a good time.”

“I did see it as a real date,” you admitted. “But you would have saved us all this trouble if you’d told me back then.”

“And miss that pretty speech of yours?” he raised his eyebrows. “No way, I’d rather run away again so you’d have to come up with an even better one.”

“Don’t you dare,” you rolled your eyes, yet a grin spread your lips as you squeezed his hand.

“Fine, fine,” he chuckled.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” you pointed out, nibbling your lip a little anxiously.

“What question?” he looked at you and he was either generally confused or pretending really well. You sighed and shook your head.

“I literally asked if you’d be my boyfriend and you said nothing,” you pouted, reaching down with your free hand to play with his fingers.

“Oh, that,” he laughed and you glared at him. “I didn’t realize it was a question. I thought it’s pretty clear that I want that.”

You shook your head and sighed in disappointment - not in his answer, just his approach to the topic. Yet you couldn’t fight the smile spreading your lips once again. You’d made some dumb decisions along the way, yes, and you’d been too oblivious to see. But Jaemin loved you and wanted to be with you. And you loved him. And the sun was shining softly, and Jaemin’s smile was shining too and he was next to you, holding your hand.

“Like the stars, right?” he asked suddenly and you looked at him confused. He chuckled and leaned down to peck your nose before repeating his words. “Like the stars, you said.”

“Why are you so stuck on that?” you giggled.

“Because I saw the way you look at the stars, you know? You say they make you feel at home, but you look like they make you feel so much more than that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look as happy as you were when talking about them. And you kinda look the same way right now, so if I am the reason…”

“You really didn’t see it before?” you tilted your head in amusement. “That I am the happiest when I’m with you?”

“So… like the stars?”

“Yes, Jaemin. Like the stars.”

Epilogue

You were sitting with your friends in the school cafeteria during lunch break as usual. Taking a sip of your drink, you only now realized that by mistake you had taken a strawberry milk bottle instead of orange juice like you had intended to. A small pout curved your lips as you set the small bottle on the table.

“What's wrong, princess?” Jaemin asked, concerned as he noticed your displeasure. You shook your head slightly.

“Nothing, I just picked up the wrong drink by mistake, I wanted orange juice,” you answered, sad eyes fixed on the now very obvious mistake. Really, how had you even managed to mix the two up?

“Oh,” was his reaction at first. Then after a moment, he smiled and swapped your drink with his own - a bottle of orange juice. “Here, have mine.”

“Jaem- you hate strawberry milk,” you argued, trying to switch them back but he stopped you, grabbing your wrist with one hand as his other one pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“It's okay, as long as you’re happy I will be fine,” he smiled, loving eyes looking at you. You pouted even more now, torn between not wanting to let him ‘sacrifice’ himself for you and the warmth in your chest.

“You guys are disgusting,” Donghyuck crashed the moment with a roll of his eyes. “I swear, ever since you got together, it's like I'm a side character in a cringy rom-com.”

“I think they're cute,” Renjun joined in, hitting Hyuck's arm. “Let them have their honeymoon phase, no one questioned you when you made, like, three different playlists just about how whipped you are for Karina.”

“You did what?” your best friend asked, scoffing. She burst out laughing at the way Hyuck's ears turned red as he tried to deny everything. “Loser,” she rolled her eyes, yet none of you were fooled to miss the loving tone in her voice. “Anyways, speaking of, you two never really told us how you got together. I didn’t even know something was going on between you until I overheard a very strange half of a phone call. Obviously, I want the details,” she said, now turning to you and Jaemin with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, yes please, give us the details, we’re burning to know,” Hyuck grinned menacingly, clearly glad to not be the topic anymore.

“Uh…” You looked at Jaemin and found him already looking at you as if letting you tell the story however you want to. You could lie, of course. But you didn't really want to. “It was kind of dumb, like… remember those English lessons? Well, they never happened… actually, I… asked him to teach me how to have, uh, sex…”

“May I, perchance, ask why the hell you would do that?” Karina asked, apparently Donghyuck had really not been whipped enough to break his promise to you. Then realization lit up her eyes and she shook her head slightly. “That’s why you were asking about…”

You were burning with embarrassment just thinking about the whole thing now, but you figured if not the people on this table, who would you even share this with.

“Well, I was scared because I had no experience with boys before this, and I had this crush on, well,” you looked at Renjun awkwardly, realizing he was the only one you hadn’t mentioned your crush to before, “you, and I was just afraid that I'd disappoint you. So I asked him to teach me so that I could feel more confident to confess. But, uh, yeah, things didn’t go according to that plan.”

“Touching story for the grandkids,” Hyuck said sarcastically, while Karina tried to holding back from laughing, not very successfully whatsoever.

Renjun had not said anything yet and you looked at him, kind of scared of how he'd react. But whatever you had imagined, you hadn't expected his answer.

“Oh, darling, I do appreciate the effort and I’m glad I could help you two, but,” he started, chuckling a little. “Did the guys not tell you that I'm gay?”

(Turns out that Jaemin didn't have the heart to tell you, plus he hoped to really win you over, not just have you because your other option was gay. Hyuck simply found it hilarious. You proceed to murder Donghyuck for his crimes against humanity (you). You end up drawing a lot of attention but the immediate death of Lee Donghyuk is more important.)

taglist: @jaeymark @okokoksblog @multihoe-net @jaemboi64 @bythe8 @sweetjaemss @magnificentjudgemoneyhands @jsjcue @sunshinedhyuck @luvdroids @wanlore @marklexleaf @back2jisung @taehyungmami @the-midnight-arthouse @multifandombtvh @chichhihaa @nctevia @thiccfullsun @hwanunjin @dinochocochip @keemburley @paintandwine @fairypothos @jaemints @dreams-in-different-colours @faesficfix @pradagukkie @leaz-kpop-life

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itsdanii · 4 years ago

Note

Hello. I loved the rejecting then regretting it scenario with Sakusa and Tsukki. 💞💞 Would you be open to doing one with Inarizaki boys as well? If it's too much, Atsumu would do because I think he is the one most likely to have this happen. Angst to fluff, please. 👉👈 Thank you!

Rejecting you and Regretting it pt. 2

a/n: hey, bub. as much as i wanted to input all inarizaki boys, i only take 1-2 characters per request. the reason for this is for me to avoid being repetitive with the scenes. i hope you understand. that being said, here's your request for the part 2 with atsumu. this was supposed to be short but i kind of got carried away with this, 'm sorry😭

genre: angst to fluff

warnings: cursing, rude behavior (resolved), please do remind me if i missed anything else

ft. atsumu miya

Atsumu Miya

You met Atsumu during your first year

It was exactly the first day when you bumped into him on the hallways and ended up being in the same class

From there on, the both of you formed a good friendship since you have the same tastes in things

Along the way, you managed to fall for him

It wasn't impossible to fall for him after all

He was fun to be with, that it felt as if there were no dull moments when you're with him

But you were afraid of confessing to him because you didn't want to ruin your friendship

However, that all changed when somebody entered the picture

"Another one?" you asked Atsumu as he sat on your usual table at the school's cafeteria.

Looking at the two boxes of chocolates given to him by a fangirl, Atsumu nodded. "Mhmm. They just keep on coming every single day."

You can't help but laugh at what he said. You took one of the boxes and stared at the familiar name written on it. "Yuki again? Isn't she that girl from the other section? The one who kept on giving you stuff every day?" you asked and the smile you had awhile ago completely disappeared from your face.

"The one and only. She's kind of cute though," he said as if it wasn't a big deal.

Maybe for him, it wasn't, but it's a different case for you. You were aware of what you're getting into the moment you realized that you have feelings for Atsumu. At first, his fangirls didn't bother you since you knew that he doesn't really pay attention to them but hearing what Atsumu said just now sparked a feeling of jealousy inside of you.

You knew that what you're feeling right now is selfish. He isn't your boyfriend. Sure, you might've been in love with him for 2 years now but that doesn't mean that you have the right to tell him who he should and shouldn't date, right? After all, you're just his friend.

In fact, you've thought of confessing several times already but fear always overtook you. Afraid of ruining the bond the two of you have, you disregarded the idea and settled on keeping your feelings a secret.

But that might change today. Seeing Atsumu smiling at the chocolates right now made you think that if you don't do something about it now, you might just lose him to another girl.

And you'd rather lose him by getting rejected than lose him to another girl, knowing that you didn't do something.

"You think she's cute?"

Atsumu nodded as he swallowed the whole onigiri Osamu packed for him. "Mhmm. Kind of my type actually."

You tilted your head a bit to the side and rested your cheek on your palm with your elbows placed on top of the table. "So cute girls are your type of girls... What about me, 'Tsumu? Do you think I'm cute?"

Atsumu placed his chopsticks down and stared at you intently, a small grin now forming on his lips. "Of course."

"Cute enough to be your type?"

You knew that you were playing a dangerous game but it was now or never. This time you wouldn't let fear win over you, now that Atsumu mentioned that his attention was caught by someone.

You know Yuki. She's pretty and kind of popular for being a member of the cheerleading team, and the more you thought about it, the more your confidence wavered.

A volleyball player and a cheerleader? What a good match.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Atsumu laughing. "What are ya saying, y/n? Did ya hit yer head or something?"

Crossing your arms over your chest to fake confidence, you frowned at him. "Just answer the question, Miya."

"Of course yer cute but to be my type?" He shook his head and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, angel, but I don't date my friends, let alone someone whom I consider my best friend."

You took a deep breath before finally letting the words out. Your heart was beating erratically as cold sweat started forming on your nape out of nervousness.

"I like you, Atsumu. I tried to hold myself back because I didn't want to ruin our friendship but hearing you talk about how someone finally managed to catch your attention just..." You sighed and looked down at your lap. "I don't think I can hide it anymore knowing that I could lose you anytime."

Silence enveloped the two of you and the anticipation made you more anxious than you already was.

"Was this yer plan all along?"

You turned your gaze towards him upon hearing his words. "What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about.."

You felt yourself freeze when Atsumu chuckled before answering. "Ya really think I'd fall for the same trick? C'mon y/n. I'm not as stupid as what people say."

"I don't understand-"

"Did'ya think that two years of friendship will let ya accomplish yer goal? I didn't expect ya to be like the other girls. Ya don't like me. Ya just like the idea of dating me for my popularity."

Your lips parted at his words. You wanted to reason out and defend yourself but the way he was looking at you made you almost cower in fear.

He's looking at you the way he looks at his fangirls when they shout during his services.

"Tsumu, that's not true. I really like you." You gave him a pleading look, hoping that he'd see your sincerity but he only glared at you.

"Pathetic. Get out of my sight," he said without any sympathy.

"You could've just rejected me like a normal person would, instead of insulting me." You wiped your tears with the back of your hand as you stood up but before you left, you looked at him straight in the eyes once more. "You know what? Out of the two of us, I'm not the one who's pathetic. It's you. Goodluck on your game tomorrow, Atsumu."

You walked away without turning back, knowing that once you spared him another glance, you'd go back and fight for your feelings.

But what's the point of fighting when you're the only one who's willing to fight?

A week later, you were back to your usual attitude or at least that's what you wanted yourself to believe. At least you're trying, right?

There were times that your eyes would drift towards Atsumu's direction but you kept on reminding yourself that you won't be able to move on unless you really put effort on throwing away your feelings.

When classes ended, you were left alone in your classroom due to cleaning duties. While you were sweeping the part near the door, you managed to catch Atsumu's back and saw that he was talking to someone - it was Yuki.

You stared at his back longingly and let out a sigh because you knew that despite how much you're trying to disregard your feelings, you miss the feeling of being beside him.

You missed his voice, his goofiness, everything.

"Bestfriends, huh?" you whispered to yourself and chuckled at how pathetic you must've been, pining over someone you knew who'd never look at you.

After doing your cleaning duties, you exit the room and decided to walk on the opposite direction since Atsumu and Yuki were still talking on the direction where the exit was supposed to be.

Who would want to hear their crush talking to their girlfriend anyway? Certainly not you.

The only downside of going in the direction you chose was that you weren't familiar with it. Even though you've been studying here for three years now, there were still places you weren't familiar of.

It was now getting dark and you brought out your phone to use the flashlight. You noticed that you're already out of the building, however, the surroundings weren't familiar to you.

You decided to continue walking, realizing that you somehow made it to the back of the school. Trees surrounded you and only a few lights were there to guide your way.

"Shit," you whispered to yourself as you realized that you were getting nowhere.

You decided to go back to the direction you came from but you only seemed to confuse yourself even more. Tears were now starting to well up in your eyes as you nervously tried to find your way back.

You sqealed as something rustled behind you. You immediately ran out of panic and fumbled with your phone, dialing the first number you could click.

"Y/n?"

It's him.

"'Tsumu, I-" you paused for a moment to catch your breath and sat down on the ground, your back resting against a tree. "Help me."

You hear some shouting and some wooshing sounds from the other side of the phone before Atsumu's voice filled your ears. "Where are you, angel?" he asked with concern lacing his voice.

"I don't know. I was just looking for the exit and the next thing I know I'm surrounded with trees and there's this sound of rustling so I ran away," you said without pausing. "Tsumu, I'm scared."

"I'll go find ya, okay? But first calm down. Can ya do that for me? Just breathe and tell me the directions ya can remember."

After explaining all the things you could remember, Atsumu didn't drop the call. Instead, he stayed on the line and comforted you with his words.

It wasn't long then when Atsumu appeared on your line of vision and the first thing you did was wrap your arms around him. You were quickly enveloped in his warmth as he rubbed your back soothingly.

"It's okay now, y/n. I'm here," he whispered as he kept on rubbing your back.

After having a few moments to calm you down, Atsumu instructed you to climb on his back. You wanted to decline but due to how tired your legs felt because of running, you had no choice but to agree.

"I'm sorry for calling you. You must've been busy," you mumbled while resting your head on his shoulder.

"I was actually still around school when ya called. I saw ya cleaning and decided to wait for ya but Yuki wanted to talk to me. The next moment I know, ya were gone but I still waited because I knew that if ya went home already, you would've passed by but ya didn't," Atsumu explained, his grip on your thighs tightening as he spoke.

"I guess Yuki and you are now-"

"I spoke to her to tell her to stop giving me random stuff." Atsumu licked his lips nervously before continuing, "When you left, I realized how much I messed up. I spouted some offensive words to ya and rejected ya without thinking of the consequences."

"Tsumu..."

"Let me finish, okay? This is the only chance I'm getting and there's no way I'm going to waste it. I already wasted a lot of time."

You gave a small nod as the memories of what happened all came flooding back to you. You fisted your hands and bit your lower lip to stop yourself from crying.

"I was scared. Ya were the only one who was genuine to me. Everytime I'm around you, I'm just me. I'm just Atsumu. Not the setter of the volleyball team nor the noisy twin of 'Samu," he said, followed be a chuckle.

"I was used to girl fawning over me. I have this mentality that girls are just after my reputation and when ya confessed to me, the first thing that entered my mind was that you were the same as them, that you were only going to use me. In the end, I didn't only lost my bestfriend but also the person I love. I'm sorry for hurting for you, angel."

Atsumu placed you down once you both made it infront of the school gate. He was looking you intensely and you didn't fail to notice that his eyes were glossed with tears as well. "I like you, and if this time, ya realized that yer feelings for me are no longer there, I'd respect it."

He took your hands in his and squeezed them tightly, not enough to hurt you but just enough to let you know that he was afraid to let you go.

"It's always been here. My feelings for you never faded despite how much I wanted them to disappear," you said as you stared at him lovingly, tears of happiness now flowing freely down your cheeks. "I still like you, 'Tsumu."

"Fuck. You don't know how much hearing ya say that makes me happy right now." Atsumu let go of your hand and wrapped his arms around you. His scent filled your nose and you couldn't stop yourself from burrying your face to the side of his neck.

"I love ya."

"And I love you too, 'Tsumu."

likes and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years ago

Text

Polyphonic - ao3 or tumblr pt 1

“Meet me on the Qiongqi Path if you want to talk,” the return letter from Wei Wuxian said, cold and distant, and so Lan Qiren went, grumbling the entire time.

He was far too old for this sort of nonsense. For all that his sword was named after the soaring of the heart, a memento of all his lost dreams, he didn’t actually fly on Xinfei all that much – after all, he was not a traveler, he did not go places. He remained home.

But for his nephew’s sake…

Lan Qiren did not take anyone with him when he went, not wanting to burden anyone else with his worries and concerns and unwilling to share them; instead, he took only his sword and his guqin on his back, as if he were Lan Wangji going out on a night-hunt.

It occurred to him as he flew towards the Qiongqi Path that that probably meant that his opinion on Wei Wuxian was not so dire as all that. It was nowhere within his expectations that Wei Wuxian would attack him, as if he were some sort of ravening dog. Lan Qiren knew himself well enough to know that if he truly thought that of Wei Wuxian, he wouldn’t have asked him for help in the first place.

That still didn’t mean he thought it was a good idea for Lan Wangji to associate with him.

Nor did it mean he had to make things easy for him.

“Wei Wuxian,” he bellowed in his best disappointed teacher’s voice when he saw the man, dropping lightly from the sky as he did, and had the pleasure of seeing the Yiling Patriarch jump a chi into the air and try to hide behind his Ghost General. Who then also attempted to hide behind him, leading to a rather amusing panicked shoving match of juvenile desperation to get away from an imminent scolding.

It was complimentary, if a little ridiculous. If either of them wanted to hurt him, he’d be dead so quickly that he wouldn’t even know what killed him.

“I see that I failed to teach you etiquette as well as ethics,” Lan Qiren said ponderously, accompanying his words with one of his better glares and waving the letter he had received at Wei Wuxian – he’d been shoved out in front after all. “Is this all the respect you think I am due as your teacher? A single sentence without any salutation? Summoning me to come to your side like a lapdog?”

“I didn’t think the letter was really from you!” Wei Wuxian squeaked. To judge by his expression, it appeared that he was in fact acquainted with shame, only that it had been a long time and the acquaintance had been very slight. “I thought – a prank – someone mimicking your signature –”

“Oh, we’re in trouble now,” the Ghost General murmured in a voice so soft it might have been missed, if only Lan Qiren’s ears were not quite so sharp.

Sharp enough, in fact, to hear how Wei Wuxian’s song, always a spritely thing, had grown a little slower, a little more sober, but not nearly as twisted and disharmonious as he would have expected from the stories he had heard about him. Wei Wuxian’s heart still sang free and clear, idealistic and well-meaning even if he was a little too wild, and Lan Qiren was reassured that he had come to the right person.

Wei Wuxian might be a bit of a madman, choosing demonic cultivation and defying the cultivation world as he did, making all the terrible choices that he had, but he was still a good person.

He would help.

The Ghost General, on the other hand, was in turns soft and gentle and rough and discordant, the rippling flow of his melody torn through with harsh and jagged trills like a clenching bleeding hand dragged along guqin strings, like a dying breath choked into a qiao, thick with the resentment of the unquiet dead – Lan Qiren would have to keep an eye on him.

Some classes on the subject of restraint and moderation would not go amiss, he thought, falling instinctively into analysis. That would help bring together the two sides of that personality, to soften the vicious rage and strengthen the too-weak tune…

Lan Qiren huffed, shaking his head at his own foolishness. It was too easy to slide back into the role of teacher, no matter how strange the environs – it had been a long time since he had left home, he thought, even for a night-hunt, and old habits were difficult to abandon. This trip, barely started, was already wearing on him.

He flicked his sleeve, folding his hands behind him, and began to walk in the direction of Lanling.

“Wait, your letter…did you say you wanted my help with something?” Wei Wuxian asked, his eyes wide as saucers as he hurried to catch up and fall into step behind him. “I…me? Really?”

“Yes,” Lan Qiren said. “The concern is of a musical nature, and there are reasons I could not ask Wangji. You are an excellent musical cultivator. Will you assist?”

“Of course, teacher,” Wei Wuxian said automatically, and Lan Qiren smiled, pleased. “A teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime – it’s the least I can do. Only, uh, as I’m sure you know, that is…my reputation…”

“I’m aware of it.”

“Then you see why I thought your letter was a fake, don’t you? If I go to Gusu, who knows how they’d respond to seeing me – no, I do know, I know exactly what would happen. They’d lock me up!”

“Not if you were my guest,” Lan Qiren said firmly. He had that much influence in the sect, he thought, after all those years of faithful service – and in the end if they did refuse to give him any face and insist on locking Wei Wuxian up, what then? Who would they turn to in order to find the music that might heal him from his purported madness, if not Lan Qiren himself? “I would ensure that you would be free to leave as you wished.”

“Even if it’s Hanguang-jun that wants to force me to stay?” Wei Wuxian asked, a challenge in his voice.

“Have you ever heard of He Kexin?” Lan Qiren asked, and Wei Wuxian blinked and shook his head. “I wouldn’t have expected you to. A criminal of my generation, guilty of the premeditated murder of an honored teacher of the Lan sect and sentenced to indefinite confinement within the Cloud Recesses. She ultimately died when Wangji was quite young, and it affected him deeply – if you think he would force you to stay anywhere against your wishes, you have fundamentally misunderstood my nephew.”

Wei Wuxian was silent for a moment, absorbing that, and then said, “Premeditated murder of an honored teacher, huh? Is that a warning for me?”

“Is that a serious question, or are you merely curious to know if you are too old for me to smack you?” Lan Qiren asked, frowning. “The answer in either case is no.”

The Ghost General’s sleeves were all in tatters, but that didn’t stop him from trying to use them to muffle his laughter. He seemed to be enjoying his master’s misfortune.

Assuming Wei Wuxian actually was his master. There was definitely a bond of some sort there between the two of them, more intertwined than friends, less harmonious than lovers, not as echoing as that between swordsman and his spiritual weapon; Lan Qiren couldn’t quite put his finger on it. A friendship underpinned by life debts running both ways, perhaps.

Lan Qiren was unable to resist: he turned abruptly and pinned the Ghost General with a dour look. “Would you like to contribute to this discussion?”

Fierce corpses could not pale, but it seemed that they could make a facial expression that suggested they had. “No, honored teacher,” the Ghost General said, stuttering a little. “Sorry, honored teacher.”

He had once been a poor student, Lan Qiren concluded, and had the fear of teachers firmly implanted in him.

“Hmm,” he said, and then, because he could, “Name the three most commonly encountered types of ghosts.”

The Ghost General looked like he was about to faint. “I – I – I wasn’t expecting a quiz –”

“…are you teasing him?” Wei Wuxian asked, looking a bit like he was going to faint himself.

Lan Qiren shook his head, because he wasn’t, not really – or perhaps more accurately, not entirely. It was certainly part of the reason, but there was more to it than that.

Poor students often had preconceived notions of what teachers were like and were so concerned with their fears that they were unable to focus on the facts before them. In such cases, it was better to give into their assumptions in the first instance, scaring them but also showing them that their fears were insubstantial and could not harm them – for instance, that the dreaded pop quiz would not actually cause them any trouble even if they should fail to answer. Only then was it finally possible to shift over into the actual business of educating them.

It was also, admittedly, rather fun.

“I would be willing to take you as a student,” he said to the Ghost General, whose jaw dropped. “When the present business is done, and if Wei Wuxian can spare you. It would be to your benefit.”

“I – I – I –”

“Perhaps we should table the discussion for now,” Wei Wuxian said quickly, blinking rapidly as if he were attempting to wake himself from a dream. “Honored teacher, what is it that you want me to help with? You said the problem you were having is musical in nature?” His eyes brightened. “An ancient treatise, perhaps..?”

“An investigation,” Lan Qiren said, but noted to himself that it seemed that Wei Wuxian enjoyed the prospect of abstract research. Perhaps they could encourage him to do that instead of whatever it was he was doing with demonic cultivation – it wouldn’t make him an acceptable match for Lan Wangji, but in the event Lan Wangji lost all reason and insisted on the match the way his father had, it might be a good way to blunt Wei Wuxian’s edges and make him more acceptable to the rest of the world. It was much more difficult to be afraid of an eccentric academic than a slaughtering war machine.

Not that Lan Qiren would be conceding defeat so easily, mind you.

“An investigation? Really? Regarding what?”

“Attempted murder,” Lan Qiren said.

“Attempted –” Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. “You said it was a musical issue!”

“It is.” Lan Qiren heard the whisper of distant bells, small and tinkling, and stopped walking with a frown.

Swordsmen flying in formation? Here? In this deserted place, where people came only to pass through?

“Did you arrange to meet anyone else?” he asked Wei Wuxian, who frowned in turn.

“Anyone else? No, of course not,” he said. “I mean, even with you, I wasn’t actually expecting someone to show up –”

The Ghost General abruptly moved, a burst of action, and caught an arrow headed straight for Wei Wuxian’s chest.

“Wei Wuxian!” someone roared, and Lan Qiren frowned: now that was an unpleasant sound. Self-absorbed and haughty, as many were, but without valor or etiquette or even courtesy to mitigate it; the dull and vapid piping sound of someone who bullied the weak but feared the strong, and worsened by an underlying sound of something like a guqin string breaking off while playing. The latter wasn’t a personality defect, but an external cause – but what could cause something like that?

The individual in question, it turned out, was Jin Zixun, he noted, his frown deepening. Jin Guangshan’s nephew, yet not one who had been sent to the Cloud Recesses for Lan Qiren to smarten up, whether due to bad timing or his own disinterest. He hadn’t much liked the boy during the few times he had encountered him at discussion conferences, and seeing him for the first time in a while, he didn’t think much of the man he’d become, either.

Jin Zixun was accompanied by a moderately large retinue of Jin retainers, as well as representatives from some other sects, although no major ones. Mostly ones affiliated with the Jin, from what he recalled.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jin Zixun shouted again, and Wei Wuxian was about to speak, an impertinent smirk curling onto his lips. He stopped when Lan Qiren waved him silent. “Lift the curse you’ve placed on me right now and maybe I’ll let you off!”

A curse? That would explain the sound of the breaking guqin string, the external music that did not fit, but of course Wei Wuxian was a flutist, not a guqin player; it wouldn’t have been his work.

(Truly, even though there was no rule that said ‘let stupid men speak freely and you will learn everything you wish to know’, there probably ought to be.)

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian asked, looking bored. “What curse?”

“You’re still pretending you don’t know? Look at this! Look what you’ve done to me!”

Jin Zixun pulled open his shirt, revealing his chest, and Lan Qiren’s lip curled in disgusted.

The Hundred Holes curse – that was an interesting choice. That required a particular type of bitterness to cast, being both nasty, brutal and slow in a way suggestive of a personal grudge and yet, to not inform the victim of who was the caster? That was distant, anonymous, faceless. Impersonal.

Wei Wuxian denied casting the curse, naturally, and Jin Zixun began threatening to kill him, telling him he wasn’t welcome at Jin Ling’s first month celebration, and now Wei Wuixan looked enraged, was reaching for his flute –

“Enough!” Lan Qiren thundered, and everyone turned to look at him. Jin Zixun mouthed his name in shock, clearly not having noticed him before in his singular focus on Wei Wuxian. “You have presented no proof of Wei Wuxian’s ill intent towards you, nor are you in charge of the invitations to the event in question. You will either produce your proof at once, or else retreat.”

Jin Zixun did neither, unsurprisingly. “What proof do I need?! No one else has such as vicious character as he, and everyone knows that we confronted each other! He hates me! Who else would it be but him?”

“If he wished to kill you, why would he use an anonymous curse rather than simply tear you to pieces with a fierce corpse or summon ghosts to harass you, the way he killed throughout the Sunshot Campaign?” Lan Qiren demanded, irritated as much by the stupidity on display as by the delay. “You cannot kill a man simply based on an assumption of which you are unsure.”

“I am sure! And the proof will be in the act. Once he dies, the curse will lift!” Jin Zixun suddenly grinned, teeth glinting. “And if we’re asking questions, I have one myself: why are you here, honored teacher? Here in the middle of nowhere, without anyone else from the Lan sect beside you – one might almost think that you were conspiring…”

Lan Qiren scoffed.

“For someone as upright and righteous as the honored Teacher Lan to speak in the Yiling Patriarch’s defense is impossible,” one of the retainers shouted. “He’s been bewitched! Wei Wuxian lured him here to kill him!”

“Ridiculous!” Lan Qiren spat.

“Give us one good reason why you’re here, then!” Jin Zixun demanded. “If you’re not here to meet Wei Wuxian!”

“Of course I’m here to meet Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren said impatiently, flicking his sleeve and thinking that he would need to have a talk with Jin Guangshan regarding his nephew’s insolence. He would not tolerate such blatant disrespect. “I wrote him a letter inviting him to the Cloud Recesses so that I could discuss some matters with him, and he responded by setting this as the meeting place instead. I agreed, and so came here.”

“What matters would you need to discuss with him?” one of the other cultivators demanded – one of the Ouyang collateral branch that had split from the main family in the previous generation, it looked like, probably out to try to steal some glory. “Honored Teacher Lan, you must explain yourself!”

Oh, Lan Qiren would be having a talk with several people over this.

Still, as much as he would like to stand on his dignity and refuse to answer, that would only lead to more questions. It would inflame tempers and exacerbate the situation, turning this stupid little dispute into the horrible dissonant cacophony of battle.

“Among other matters, I intended to dissuade him from pursuing a marriage with one of my sect,” he said, raising his chin. The Wall of Discipline said Do not tell lies, but a lifetime of practicing the sort of diplomacy necessary to run a sect had taught him that Do not use frivolous words was an adequate counter: sometimes, the best way to avoid an uncomfortable situation was to tell only the relevant part of the truth.

Or, as the rules put it: Speak meagerly, for excess words will only bring harm.

These wastrels did not need to know about the investigation, confidential as it was, and so he could share the portion of his intended discussion which was not.

Several of the crowd were gaping at him, Jin Zixun included, and Wei Wuxian beside him said in a strangled voice, “Marriage?”

“I was going to raise it with you before we were interrupted,” Lan Qiren told him. “I mean no insult by it, but I truly do not believe you to be an appropriate match.”

Wei Wuxian nodded dumbly.

“This is ridiculous,” Jin Zixun suddenly snapped, interjecting himself into the conversation, such as it was. “Lies, all of it, and you think we’d believe – mm!”

He clutched at his face, presumably appalled at being silenced as if it wasn’t exactly what he deserved for such an affront. Except of course he couldn’t leave it at that, gesturing wildly, and all the Jin retainers began to move, pulling out their swords and lifting their bows in readiness.

Wei Wuxian put Chenqing to his lips and issued a single drawn-out note.

Nothing happened.

“They cleared the path of any corpses,” Wei Wuxian hissed, his eyes suddenly reddening with rage. “This was prepared in advance. An ambush! They were never going to let me go to Jin Ling’s first month ceremony…Wen Ning, I’m going to need to use you. Ready, on my count, and – mm!”

Lan Qiren had silenced him as well.

“You will do no such thing,” he said icily, thinking to himself that perhaps he really ought to have insisted on keeping Wei Wuxian at the Cloud Recesses for longer than he had, despite the boy’s disastrous brand of nonsense. It was as if he had never heard of consequences – if Wei Wuxian so much as raised a blade to a single one of these men, the Jin sect would be calling for his head. Forget setting the Ghost General on them! “I will handle this.”

“You?” the Ghost General blurted out. “But - honored teacher…”

Lan Qiren was not, had never been, much of a fighter. He had been confined to the Cloud Recesses in his youth due to being sickly, and in his adulthood due to his brother’s choices; his experience was limited and insufficient. He had lifted both blade and guqin against the Wen sect when they came to burn his home, doing what little he could, and they had beaten him so badly that his heart and lungs had been permanently injured - to this day, he coughed up blood if he became overly emotional, and over-straining himself could lead him to start bleeding from all the qiqiao.

The doctors had warned him that it was not a wound that would ever be likely to heal.

And yet – as the rules of his sect said – with a strong will, anything can be achieved.

Lan Qiren drew his guqin in a single practiced motion and put his hand on the strings.

“Do you intend to fight me?” he asked, listening to the clamor of music from the hearts of the men in front of him. The ones with truly martial or aggressive beats were few and far between: if he needed to, he would target them first, and without their informal leaders, the resolve of the remainder would crumble, and they would flee.

But – he did not think he would need to.

“You can’t attack the honored Teacher Lan!” the Ghost General cried out, clearly appalled by the very thought of it. “You can’t – you just can’t!”

Lan Qiren looked at the young men in front of him, many of whom were frozen in indecision.

“Wei Wuxian may be a rogue cultivator, without even his corpses to aid him,” he reminded them. “But I represent the Lan sect, and it stands behind me. If you attack me now, even if you were to succeed and kill me, there would be an investigation; if there is an investigation, your actions will be discovered; if your actions are discovered, my Lan sect will demand vengeance from which not one of you will escape. You, and your families as well. Or do you believe that my Lan sect will not go to war for me?”

And not only the Lan sect. Lan Qiren might not be much of a fighter, he might never had become the traveling musician he had once dreamed of being, but he was a teacher – a teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime, and his students were scattered throughout the sects, throughout the cultivation world.

Perhaps some of them would stand by in silence, disregarding their filial duty to laugh at his demise.

More, he thought, would raise up their swords for him.

It seemed the Jin retainers thought the same, because no matter how violently Jin Zixun gestured, they did not make any move to attack.

“What’s going on here?!” another voice came at that moment, the low qiao of the steadfast lover – Jin Zixuan, settled at last, grown up and happy. Well, usually happy; at the moment he was clearly horrified. “Are you – are you attacking honored Teacher Lan?! What is wrong with you all? Are you trying to start another war?!”

“They came to ambush Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren said, not putting away his guqin just yet. “I was under the impression he was your invited guest, Jin-gongzi. Was that incorrect?”

“It is not,” Jin Zixuan said, and he knocked aside the flailing Jin Zixun’s hand, the one with the sword. “He is invited, and A-Li is waiting for him at Jinlin Tower right now. I knew nothing about any of this – Wei Wuxian, forgive my cousin, and forgive me for not having realized that he’d do something like this. I will make it up to you when we get back home, I promise.”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth worked briefly, and Lan Qiren snapped the silencing spell he’d put on him with a thought.

“Thanks,” Wei Wuxian said, shooting him a look that seemed to contain questions. Lan Qiren assumed the questions related to his judgment of Jin Zixuan’s sincerity, and so he nodded his approval. “It’s – uh – fine, I suppose? It’s not like he succeeded even he did plan this out in advance, even going so far as to get rid of all the corpses to try to trap me…but know this! If honored Teacher Lan wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be nearly so forgiving!”

Or mute. Wei Wuxian had a mouth made for provoking people, just like his mother…why in the world did Lan Wangji have to like him so much?

“Of course,” Jin Zixuan said quickly. “Honored Teacher Lan, you will also come with us, won’t you? You can complete your conversation with Wei Wuxian at Jinlin Tower, and I’m certain your nephews will be pleased to see you…”

Lan Qiren huffed. “I am not so old and doddering as to need to be watched at every moment,” he said, knowing his tone betrayed his tetchiness – all entirely unfeigned, but it would still be helpful if everyone thought that his solo excursion had been merely a symptom of irritation at how he’d been incessantly pestered in his slow recovery. “Very well, we will return with you. Someone will need to carry Wei Wuxian and his ghost general, however, as I note that he has once again failed to bring his sword.”

“I didn’t think I’d need it,” Wei Wuxian drawled. “It seemed an odd accoutrement for a first moon party, but then again perhaps I should have anticipated the ambush?”

Jin Zixuan looked around, realizing that the only people here that could perform the escort were either himself and Lan Qiren or else participants in the ambush. “Honored Teacher Lan,” he said, looking a little panicked. “Forgive my impertinence, but could I ask you…?”

“I’ll ride with honored Teacher Lan,” Wei Wuxian announced, his tone grandiose and extremely irritating. Arrogant little brat. “Provided that you take Wen Ning, Jin-gongzi. After all, honored Teacher Lan still needs to talk to me about how he doesn’t want me to marry someone from his sect.”

Lan Qiren sighed. “It’s for your own good as well, you know,” he told Wei Wuxian even as Jin Zixuan attempted to swallow his own tongue in shock. “Our sect follows our sect rules no matter where we are, marrying in or out, and do so for our whole lives. Is that something you would be willing to tolerate?”

Wei Wuxian grinned at him, his expression – and the cheerful crescendos and upbeat lilt of his song, very nearly back to being as lively as they had been in his youth – suggesting that he was not as dissuaded as might have been hoped.

A few more moments and they all rearranged themselves, taking to the air. It was a little strange: the Ghost General, Wen Ning, rode in front of Jin Zixuan in the more vulnerable position, and because he was nearly the same height as Jin Zixuan their heads kept knocking together by accident, while Lan Qiren pointedly took the lead position as well. A sign of trust, and also recognition that he was a half-head shorter than his erstwhile student.

As they flew through the air, Wei Wuxian put his chin on Lan Qiren’s shoulder. “And there’s also that attempted murder you want me to help you with,” he murmured, voice low. “Reputation or not, ability or not, I will help you as much as I can, honored Teacher Lan, however I can…anything I can do, I will do. Thank you for trusting in me.”

Lan Qiren snorted. “What are you talking about?”

“The curse on Jin Zixun. You didn’t believe him when he said I did it.”

“That’s not trust, but logic,” Lan Qiren said scornfully. “The person who sent that curse plays the guqin, not the flute. How could it have been you?”

It was strange, though. A curse, spiritual poison, and both by guqin players – it was not an uncommon instrument to use, but to wield it with such skill that the instrument became an innate part of the player’s residual spiritual qi, the way the Lan sect taught its disciples to do…?

Lan Xichen didn’t like Lan Wangji’s crush on Wei Wuxian any more than Lan Qiren did, he thought to himself, even if he had encouraged it in their youth – but that had been before Wei Wuxian had turned to his dark and crooked path, and before Lan Wangji had demonstrated signs that he was unwilling to turn away from him despite it. Even more than Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen feared his brother following in their father’s footsteps, in damning himself for a lover who didn’t deserve him, feared that Wei Wuxian would shatter his beloved Lan Wangji’s fragile heart into a million pieces and more…

Still, a curse? The Hundred Holes, no less? His nephew?

A few days earlier, Lan Qiren would have said it was impossible. But then, a few days earlier, he would have said that it would be impossible for Lan Xichen’s lover to be poisoned through a spiritual song that, as far as Lan Qiren knew, only Lan Xichen and those he had personally trained had ever used on him.

Lan Qiren did not understand, and what little he did, he didn’t like.

Still, he had the marginal satisfaction that his initial mission had been accomplished, however uncomfortable the journey might have been – Wei Wuxian had agreed to assist him in his investigation. If he could only get the man alone long enough to explain the issue, they could even start looking into it at once, at the first month party in Jinlin Tower, which everyone in the cultivation world would attend.

They would discover the truth.

And when they did…

Let it not be Xichen, Lan Qiren thought. Let it be anyone else, no matter what – just not him.

I don’t know what I’d do if it were him.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wei wuxian #wen ning #jin zixun #my fic #my fics #polyphonic #wangxian #in the background

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studythenight-away · 5 years ago

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Hello! As finals season (aka 5-research-papers-due-in-a-week season) dawns on many of you, I thought I would share the process I used to write papers in college. This made writing long research papers much less daunting (but can also work on shorter papers). I really hope this helps some of you who feel stuck. Especially during these ridiculous times, when you're stuck at home and might have other uncontrollable factors affecting your mental health, a clear framework of what to do could be helpful. Good luck, my friends! You got this.

About me

I graduated college in 2018 with degrees in Political Science + International Studies and will be starting law school this fall. I wrote nearly 20 15 to 25-page papers, never earning below an A. I loved researching about my topics but hated writing. It's tedious, takes so much time, and everything I write sounds bad at first. Plus, I was a terrible procrastinator so most of these essays were written in under a week. Talk about stress.

Over time I found a process that worked for me, one that made churning out a paper seem straightforward, like going through a factory line rather than this terrifying concept of writing 10,000 words. It kept me sane without decreasing the quality of my work (or more importantly, how much I learned!)

I'm thinking about making a short video to show this in action… let me know if that could be helpful!

Step 1: Research

How you organize your research is a key step in keeping you sane. Usually I'll have a pile of 20 books in my dorm along with dozens of JSTOR tabs open on my laptop, and that can get overwhelming very fast. Right now just focus on collecting ideas, not developing an argument or even an outline! As with most research papers, you could be starting with little to no background information on the topic, so it is still too early to be thinking about an argument.

Put all your research in one document

Open up a new doc: this will be the heart of everything. For a 15-page paper I usually end up with around 14-18 pages of typed research, 10 pt font, single spaced, tiny margins. This seems like a lot, but essentially all I do is type up anything I read that seems relevant to my topic, so luckily this step does not require that much brain power. Just type type type!

Use the table of contents

Find the chapter(s) that are actually relevant instead of skimming through the whole book. Time is of the essence here!

Use Zotero, cite right away

You can also use easybib or whatever you're used to, but keep track of your sources. I like Zotero because I can keep a log of all of my sources and copy the footnote or bibliography version whenever needed. Before you even begin reading, cite the source and copy it into your research doc. This will save you so much time later when you have to put in your citations in the actual paper.

Here is an example of what my research doc looks like:

Full citation is my heading for each source just so it’s crystal clear

I ignore all typos (I don’t think there are any in this part though, go me!) because my head is buried in the book just trying to get all the info down

I always start with the page number so I know what to cite when I go back

Create a shorthand

While typing up research, you might think of something that the author didn't talk about that you'll want to write in your paper. Or perhaps a few sentences already start to form. Put them all in one place, with your research, so you know what source you'll have to cite to then lead into your idea. I type "!@#" before anything that is strictly my own idea so I'm never confused. It's fast and stands out.

This is an example: the two bullet points above are evidence from my source, which made me think of this argument I could make, which I noted with “!@#”

Step 2: Read Your Research

Now that you have all your information, go back and read through it all. Every time you read about a new theme/person/event, write it down somewhere. You may come up with a list of 20+ different ideas in your research. No matter how small, as long as there is something about it, write it down. Each of these mini themes is going to end up being a paragraph in your paper or combined with another mini theme.

Once you’ve made your list, look for larger overarching themes. In the paper I’ve shown you, I had mini categories like “political party x” “religion” “labor groups” “little organization” and “hierarchy.” When I looked back I though, hey these are all groups and how groups are working together, so they each became their own mini paragraph under the subsection of “Alliances.”

As with most research paper structures, I try to find three general themes/subsections (like an extended version of that 5-paragraph essay we wrote in middle school). It makes the paper less messy and also makes sure I’m not covering things that are beyond a reasonable scope.

During this step, you are also searching for your thesis. It won’t be your final version. As you fill in your outline in the next step you may make slight changes. But this is definitely when you start thinking about it.

Step 3: Outline

We’re ready to outline! Once I’ve collected all my different themes and organized all my subsections and paragraphs, it’s time to fill in that outline. I start a new doc just for the outline and take advantage of google doc’s headings function to make a clear document outline.

Here comes the fun part, I read through my research one more time, this time copy and pasting all my research into each section of the outline. The document outline in google docs makes this easy because I can just click on each subheading to get me there (super helpful when you’re dealing with 15+ pages of research).

Here is what it looks like:

Let’s say I need to add something to my outline about labor groups. Boom, labor groups. Also, the typos are really abound here haha

Step 4: Write the Paper

Okay, I get it, easier said than done. BUT! You already have everything set up. Your outline is essentially just a list of your paragraphs and all you have to do is paraphrase, cite, and create a topic sentence. And that’s how you should think about this: you’re essentially transforming bullet points into sentences and adding footnotes.

In high school my English teacher introduced us to Sh*tty First Drafts for creative writing, but honestly the same applies to research papers. Sometimes I’ll even have phrases like “wait no that’s not what I meant but basically...” and when I go back to edit, I realize that what came after “but basically...” is fine! And I keep it. So just start typing.

How do you cite while you write? Because we’re trying to get a constant stream of writing going, inserting proper footnotes after each sentence you type is too bothersome. I usually split screen with my outline and my paper so I just copy and paste a few words from my bullet point into my footnote, like so:

(This is from a different paper about cluster munitions.)

Step 5: Edit the Paper

I work best when I print out my first draft and make all edits in red pen. I feel more productive and can visually see where I want to move sentences and what I need to change. The more red there is the better I can feel the paper getting. (Whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter. We’re trying to stay motivated here!) When it’s all digital I don’t really see the progress. Plus, once I finish all the red, I get another moment of passive brain work, where all I’m doing is transferring edits rather than thinking. And at this point in the process, that kind of relief is much welcomed.

The good thing about this process is there’s not usually a need to cut entire paragraphs or pages because the paper you end up with is just a formalized version of your outline. Because you started with such a detailed outline, the cutting and editing now is just to refine your word choices and get rid of the “but basically”s. You’re almost there!

Step 6: Replace your citations

Now it’s time to go back and replace your footnotes with actual citations. Zotero makes this easy because in Word you can just insert and add the page number, and it’ll automatically do “Ibid.” for you when needed. Ctrl+f in the original research doc to quickly find the source.

Step 7: One More Read-Through and Submit!

Congratulations!! You’ve got a fully-researched and well-backed paper! Of course, even though the process is straightforward, it’s still a lot of work. In ideal situations I would start researching two weeks before the deadline, but if need be, I believe I’ve done this all in three miserable panic-filled days as well.

Please message me if you have any questions at all! I really hope some of you find this helpful! Good luck!

#studyblr #college #university #writing #essay #study tips #studytna #original #research #research paper #study #student #school #you can do it!

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bokutoslittlebird · 4 years ago

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Sorrow [pt. 2 of Regrets]

Alpha!Ushijima x Beta!f!reader

Warnings: this is angst and nothing else, mentions of reader’s death, miscarriage, Japanese funeral, introduction of [Y/N]’s family (no names), Ushijima’s bitch of a mother

The week after your suicide was the worst.

The day after is when Ushijima was informed by your distressed father, asking if he had heard the news. With his now-wife in the kitchen, making him breakfast, he listened to your father hold back his cries as he broke the news. Your funeral would be held soon, but family matters came first, so the wake would be held in the next two days. When his wife asked him what was the matter, he told her nothing. It was no longer his business. He left you hurt and broken, but this was not his place anymore. The invitation he received would not be used.

The next day was when he decided he would be attending your wake. A phone call from Tendō had him changing his decision, his sad voice asking if Ushijima can give the condolences he could not. Of course Ushijima would decide to go after that, giving your family a hefty amount of money and telling them it was his and Tendō’s condolence money. A trip to Japan suddenly was hard for Tendō, so hopefully your family would understand.

His wife seemed displeased at this event he’d be going to, but she said no more. He knew what she thought. She thought he wasn’t over you. Looking at her across the dinner table, he couldn’t find himself to blame her. The off-the-shoulder dress she adorned showed off her flawless skin — not a single bruise, hickey, or bond along it. After all, his mother was never bonded to his father, why would he force himself to bond to her?

But he bonded you.

He wonders if deep down inside, he did want to be with you. It would’ve never worked out, he tells himself when that thought flickers in his mind. A small candle he quickly snuffs out as soon as it’s lit, not wanting the flame to burn to bright nor too hot.

The day had finally arrived. Other Shiratorizawa alumni and peers of yours attended. A wake was held at your family’s house, to which he was also there. It was hard to ignore, but he felt out of place while people had their heads in their hands and continued to sob until tears stopped flowing. He felt sad, he shed a few tears, but not as much. Some friends of yours would look at him, glaring before looking back towards the altar.

Upon the altar, surrounded by flowers, especially your favorite, sat a picture of you. It looked like you — smiling joyfully as you held up a peace sign. In the back was the rest of the Shiratorizawa’s VBC. The picture was from last year, when he was still attending the school. You were only a second year, but you were the best manager for the team, even if they lost to Karasuno. A smile was plastered on your face, placed so freely and easily as if it was meant to never leave. Thinking back to when you left his house, you weren’t smiling.

That didn’t sit right with him.

When it was his time to be given a gift from the family members, your mother stopped him. “I’m glad you came. I’m sure she’s glad you came, too,” she said through her tears, a forced smile on her face. Ushijima wipes the tears away, before taking the gifts from her hands.

“I hope so, but I doubt it. Satori also gives his condolences. I know he’d be here if he wasn’t so far away,” he says, bowing. She thanks him and he leaves, but a friend of yours stops him before he can go too far.

“It’s your fault, you know. She wouldn’t be dead if you hadn’t left her,” they sneered, glaring at him despite the tears in their eyes and wavering lips. He sighs, but doesn’t dispute their claim. It isn’t his place to tell them where the blame lies. The blame lies in someone, whether that be him, them, your parents, society, or even you — it’s not up to him to tell them any different.

By the time Ushijima has made it to his car, his phone buzzes. From the hospital his wife goes to for checkups, he notes. Taking the call, he listens to the receptionist on the other end of the call.

“I’m sorry to inform you this way, sir, but your wife has suffered from a miscarriage,” she says. Ushijima feels his heartbeat increase as he feels his chest tighten. He won’t lie to himself and say he loves his wife — an arrangement forced by his mother with no room for love to bloom. However, the news of her miscarriage is news he didn’t expect or want to hear.

“Where...” he gulps, trying to stabilize his breathing. “Where is she?”

“She’s at the hospital. She won’t be able to leave for the next day or so, depending if she feels better and nothing is wrong with her. We’ll keep her overnight to check.”

“Thank you. I’ll come to get her tomorrow, then,” he ends the call there. He doesn’t question how she got there, if he should go, or if he should just sit in his car and watch people leave your wake. Sitting in his car doing exactly that, he decides going home to take in everything would be best.

Your funeral begins the next day at noon, Ushijima in attendance. With nobody at home, he feels as if this is a funeral for you and his miscarried child. He witnesses your family pay a hefty amount of money to give you a more elaborate name, most likely from the condolence money he offered to them. He thinks it’s fitting, given he didn’t do much when you were alive; in death, you’d benefit from his existence.

When the priest finishes the ceremony, the guests are able to see you upon your casket bed. Your mother weeps at the coffin, holding your favorite flowers to her chest while your father cries silently, rubbing his wife’s back. It’s a pitiful scene, but it does well to have tears springing into everyone’s eyes. Ushijima doesn’t have your favorite flowers, but rather a purple hyacinths and asphodel bouquet to place beside you. His place of choice? Above your heart, next to the bond he created. Despite the makeup and the kimono, he knows it’s there. He can sense it.

His sorrow comes from the lack of a beat behind the bond.

Once the funeral has come to a close, with your coffin being taken to the crematorium and your family moving to go follow, everyone is dismissed. However, your friend from before stops him before he can retreat to his car. “May I help you?”

“I saw the flowers you placed around her head. You do have a heart, apparently,” they scoffed, before moving to get off his car. A quick glance shows they didn’t damage it. “You shouldn’t have even been here. I wish she had never even met you and I regret telling her about the volleyball manager position.”

Ushijima doesn’t say a word back, but he does bow respectfully. They leave without looking back, letting him peacefully get into his car. He takes a couple of minutes to himself, knowing he has to go retrieve his wife from her hospital stay.

The drive home from the hospital was brutal. Silence hung in the air, Ushijima still dressed from when he attended your funeral. His wife sat in the passenger seat, yet had her eyes trained on the window and didn’t glance at him even once. He didn’t tell her he’d be going to your funeral as well, which might be why she’s upset, but he didn’t push an issue.

Arriving at home, she finally opened her mouth. “Your mother will be picking me up soon. She said she’ll take care of me while I properly recover.”

Once more, Ushijima says nothing. She scoffs, leaving the car to get her things. He doesn’t hurry, instead dragging his feet as he enters the house. It’s big and spacious, easy to feel alone in. When a knock resounds through the front room, Ushijima answers it to see his mother, the constant frown on her face as she looks up at him.

“I’ve come to get Mai.” Quick and to the point, as usual. She enters when he allows it, with his wife coming into the room shortly after. With barely any acknowledgement to his presence, his mother guides his wife out, rubbing her shoulder as she sniffles and spills some tears.

A click behind the door shutting really lets the silence settle. Ushijima trudges up to his bedroom, loosening his tie and shedding his jacket along the way. He changes into some more comfortable clothes, sitting on his edge of the bed while scrolling through the text messages Tendō has sent him throughout the day. Nothing of importance, but some of them do make him smile as it lights up the darkness life has forced upon him.

One of the messages is an old picture, one of Tendō and you throwing up a peace sign while smiling widely. Your eyes are shut while you grin, absolutely full of joy. With nobody around to witness his confession, nor the tears plinking against his phone screen, he doesn’t feel the need to snuff out the candle again. He doesn’t shove his feelings deep inside.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. I shouldn’t have let you go and I should have been honest. I truly do love you. I regret not standing up to my mother. I regret not having the strength to confront my mistake. But most of all,” he wipes a few tears, zooming in on your smiling face, a sorrowful smile on his face to mirror yours.

“I regret letting you leave that day.”

Author’s Note: This is the direct sequel to Regrets ; the flowers mentioned (purple hyacinths and asphodels) both represent a similar meaning — regret and “I’m sorry”, which I thought was fitting to the original work, as well as the other piece I’m working on. However, purple hyacinths also express the bearer’s sorrow and asks for forgiveness, which is where the title comes from for this piece.

#haikyuu x reader #BB.Requests #haikyuu omegaverse #Mr. Wakatoshi #Ushijima.Angst #ushijima x reader #BB.Angst #tw.suicide #tw.death #tw.miscarriage #I cried while writing this #BB.🐾

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futurewriter2000 · 3 years ago

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If I can't have you, nobody can - pt. 9 - final part

A/N: I know it's kind of a shitty ending but I just wanted to end it without all the dramatic affects. Like, let's be honest. This is how it would go because all men are pu**ies.

James walked in his apartment drained. He felt his limbs go numb as soon as he stepped on his threshold. He could barely put the key in but when he did, he opened the door with force, kicked off his shoes and threw himself onto his bed.

The image of Lily's tears haunted him. It wasn't as horrible as he imagined. It was worse, far worse but he couldn't keep deceiving her. He couldn't pretend to love her when he loved you. It was that easy. You can only love one person at the time. Loving both makes him selfish.

There was no doubt on he was to choose. There even wasn't a choice for him. He knew exactly who he wanted and that person was you.

He deserved the slap. Definitely deserved it but Merlin did she had to hit so hard? His cheek was still burning from her hand and it wasn't any less redder than it was before.

He didn't want to see you today either. Tomorrow and for the rest of his life, yes. But today? Today he just wanted to sleep through and get it over with. Despite everything, he still cared about Lily and the time they were together was not just wasted time for him. He cared... cared enough to feel pain in his chest as he did so but that didn't mean he loved you any less. He just needed to grieve a bit for he had lost an amazing woman but love is love, and you can't really choose for who you fall in love with and with you he was head over heels.

"PEEK A BOO!" came a loud voice from the living room. "Prongs?"

"Ugh, noooo..." James grumbled into the pillow. Apparently this day is far from being over.

"Oh, there you are." Sirius smiled as he popped his head into the bedroom. "Alright there, mate?" he jumped on the bed and started bouncing off.

"No." he mumbled into the pillow.

"Hell, who hurt you today? Was it Moody? Was he a bit harsh on you today? Oh wait, we're not Aurors yet." Sirius laughed sarcastically and slapped his forehead. "Must have been-"

"I broke up." he mumbled into the pillow but Sirius couldn't quite hear him.

"You're worker?"

"No, Pads." James turned around to face him. "I broke up..." he paused, watching Sirius' eyes furrow. "... with Lily."

Sirius kept watching him in silence, replaying thoughts and words in his head. "I thought you wanted to marry her?" he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew the reason why, stuck far back in his head but he wanted James to say it. "Weren't we ring shopping four days ago?"

"I know. I know." James sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes. "I just... I talked to Remus-"

"oF cOUrsE!" Sirius threw his arms in the air. "And he gave you some Yobe Kenobi wisdom about love and commitment when a man cannot even commit to the fact that he turns into a wolf every full moon."

"Pads, that's not fair." James scolded him. Every one of them knew how much Remus suffered. It wasn't fair of Sirius being ignorant about his friend and Sirius realised that.

"I know..." he looked down in regret. "But can't you- why? You know what don't tell me why. I know why? It's because of (y/n) isn't it?" he glared at James.

"Yes but-"

"I bloody knew it! She's not for you James!"

"How in the bloody hell would you know that?! Huh?! Why aren't you just happy for us?! Why are you pissed?!"

"Because if I can't have her, you shouldn't either! Nobody should!"

And if words could have physical strength, they would push James back a few steps.

"You git!" James stormed to Sirius and pushed him against his chest.

Sirius stared at him for a moment and when James started to push him again, he pushed back first.

"You were selfish all this time!"

"So what if I was?! You and her would never work out because she still has feelings for me!"

"Don't act like a child, Sirius! She's not a 12 year old girl and you're not all mighty God! She's a grown, sensible woman, who doesn't wait for you just to crawl back at your feet. If she would, she would have done it a long time ago but she didn't, did she?!" he shouted. "She moved on and she got her life together or did she sent you a letter or called you that I do not know about?" he continued but Sirius just stared at him, defeated. "She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you because you had rejected her YEARS ago but she does love me. She always loved me because if she didn't, she wouldn't have given me a second chance! So you have no right to be jealous, mate, when you're the one that pushed her away! Not only from yourself but from us too! And there was no reason for that except today that you were just too selfish about it!" he pushed Sirius through the door. "Now, bloody leave! I don't want to see your face for a couple of days because I am furious at you!" James stared at Sirius and Sirius pouted like a little child.

He stomped away and disapparated into thin air.

---

You had laughed when James was telling you this story. He was laying in your lap and angrily complaining over Sirius as a little child as well. He threw his hands in the air and started to get heated as he explained the argument.

"After all I've done for that git!" he turned to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. "That little asshole." he continued to pout as you had continued to laugh.

"Come on, Jamie." you gently caressed his cheek. "We were all just kids when everything happened. We didn't know better, especially Sirius. You were just as stubborn and arrogant as he was."

"I know but still!" he sat up and looked at you, not angry but sad. "If I didn't know better now, I wouldn't have been with you."

You cupped his cheeks and awed at him. "But you are and Sirius is just being dramatic. You know he wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone hurt his best friend."

"I bet you five galleons he will knock on that door tomorrow, if not today with Fizzing Whizzbees and ton of Chocolate Frogs just to apologise."

"He had never apologised in my entire time of knowing him."

"Oh, he doesn't really say it but you know what he's meaning to say."

And just as James was about to answer, there was a knock on the door.

You smiled coyly at James. "Get your wallet, Potter."

James rolled his eyes and smiled at you. He walked to the door and opened them to see a tall man with regretful puppy eyes and candy in his hands. "You just made me lose five galleons, mate." he said and gestured to let him come inside.

"What do you mean?" Sirius smiled as he walked after James, later seeing you sitting on the sofa.

He stopped in his tracks and stared at you. No second movement or proof that he was breathing appeared. He just stood and stared like a linden tree.

"Hello, Sirius." you waved at him.

"Hi." he said than quickly regained his saneness. "Oh, so you're the thief behind the five galleons."

"Guilty." you laughed. "You had always done this whenever you and James had got in the argument. James was ranting to Remus, Peter and I, meanwhile you were out there sneaking to Honeydukes for sorry candy."

"Which always worked in the end." Sirius winked and sat down on the arm chair in front of you. He rubbed his hands together and looked away from you, before facing the uncomfortable topic. "So... he told you..."

"Quite passionately, might I say. I felt as if I was there when he was telling me the story." you teased as James filled himself with Chocolate Frogs and laughed.

"I'm really sorry, (y/n)." he said, causing James' eyes to widen. He had never heard Sirius apologise before but now that he did, it must have been sincere. "I really didn't know what I was doing... or saying... you were just so fun to be around and I guess I didn't want to share you with anybody."

"I get it..." you said, letting your hand fall behind James' neck and looking at him with awe. "We were all just stupid kids and I always wanted us to stay friends." you smiled back at him.

Sirius smiled back. "So you're not mad?"

"I was never mad, Siri. I was just disappointed but everything turned out for the best in the end." you looked back at James, who didn't take his eyes off you since the moment your hand touched his skin.

"Yeah." Sirius said, then stood up and patted his jeans. "Best I leave you two love birds alone then." he said and both of you looked up at him. "I really am happy for the two of you." he said before disapperating away.

Though he said it to the two of you with a smile on his face he never meant it. Why not? Because seeing you with James was the most painful thing he had to witness.

Seeing you there, so grown up, so different from when he last saw you was torturing. He just wanted to pour out of himself the why's and the because's. Oh, how he wanted to hug you and tell you everything but he couldn't. He couldn't have done it because of James.

He had messed up so much for you, for James and for himself that all he had to do was restrain himself of his own emotions. He can never tell you now.

He had his chances and now he doesn't. He would think it was not fair when everything made sense. It was fair. He did have chances, opportunities to tell you the truth but was too late for him now.

James was right. You didn't wait for him. You moved on and everything he made you feel was now gone but everything you made him feel was still inside of him.

You were happy. James was happy and him? Sirius? He was miserable because he had let you slip through his fingers forever.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter imagines #marauders #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #marauders era #marauders imagines #marauders imagine #marauders x reader

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jeonqqin · 4 years ago

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man up. [m] | pt. 2

h. jisung x reader | netflix teen rom-com au

— ❝Even with classes, annoying brothers, and an unrequited crush, you still figured your first year of college was going pretty well. Until you managed to get your first boyfriend, and suddenly your brother and his stupidly attractive best friend were attached to your hip for the whole damn ride.

or alternatively;

Why did Jisung care about you so much, and had his eyes always been that pretty?❞

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

CONTAINS: brothers best friend au, teen rom-com au, sorta crack fic, love triangle au, college au

WARNINGS: nopee, well ji looking at readers butt?

A/N: are u team Chan or team Han?

▸ request

CHAPTERS: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 +

blog masterlist | ⟲ fic song

After your afternoon class with Jisung, he quickly noted that you were absent for the rest of the day.

Sure, you didn’t have any other classes, but normally you would be hunkered down in the library with your nose stuffed in some sort of book, or wandering around campus with Felix at your heels. You were either cramming due to your procrastination or roaming around procrastinating. Jisung also knew you weren’t a fan of staying in your small dorm room since your roommate loved flaunting the fact that she had a boyfriend and how she wasn’t shy about anyone witnessing their ‘acts of love’.

So he really had no idea where you were, and it bugged him a little more than he would like to admit.

But outwardly, he didn’t want to show just how worried he was. You were his best friend’s sister, it wasn’t his job to make a fuss about something so trivial. It would be weird if he went looking for you… but if Minho just so happened to get word of his little sister’s sudden disappearance, Jisung would have to help his dear friend search for you.

It was only common courtesy.

“Minho, I think Y/n was kidnapped.”

“You WHAT?!”

Okay, starting the phone call with that probably wasn’t the best choice, but what other choice did he have. Jisung was an impatient guy.

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened.” He replied casually, already able to hear the panic on Minho’s end of the call. “She was here and then she wasn’t.”

Not only was he impatient, he was a(n idiot) songwriter; his words articulate and poetic.

Minho was silent for a second before cutting back for the call.

“I texted Changbin and he said she just ran off.”

Jisung frowned. “Do they know where she went?”

“Apparently to beat some sense into me.”

The two friends knew then where you were and a rush of panic filled their chests all at the same time.

“Fuck—”

“—Chan.”

Jisung nearly dropped his phone in the process of hanging up, immediately taking off towards the familiar apartment.

His worst nightmare was coming true—Chan was an unknown in Jisung’s mind. He was handsome, charismatic, and an older guy, so it was realistic to imagine you falling head-over-heels if you were to ever meet him. Unfortunately, it seemed like fate wasn’t in his favor and he was in deep shit if you were really at the apartment alone with Chan.

Alone with Chan.

He shivered at the thought.

The only brightside to the ordeal was that Minho was also aware of the dangerous situation. Out of everyone, he would be the only one to prevent any feelings from sprouting between you. Jisung counted on Minho every time and he never once failed to preform.

Dear god, he hoped he didn’t decide to stop now.

Arriving at the complex, he almost rammed full speed into Minho, who was also going as fast as his legs could take him. They only shared one glance before trampling over their feet to get up the stairs, no doubt bothering the neighbors along their way.

Minho was the one to swing the door open, his head on a swivel as he walked in. He was ready to break up any inappropriate business with as much force necessary—he didn’t care if Chan’s bicep was twice the size of his head, he had leg power on his side. And if he saw your tongue anywhere near Chan’s, Minho was going to be swinging.

“Chan?”

“Y/n?”

Thud.

There was a crash behind the closed door of the office, and both heads perked up at the sound.

Minho hurried forward, arm outstretched to grab the door, “No. No no no—”

Jisung never wanted in his life to see you involved with someone else. With your pretty eyes hooded and shining with desire, and your chest heaving heavily against the tight fabric of your blouse. It had been difficult enough to watch you fill out and grow into an attractive woman, he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you were old enough to meet other guys and moan their names.

He certainly didn’t want to hear you moan Chan’s name—of all people, why Chan?

“Shit, Chan—”

Jisung felt his face heat up as Minho pushed the door open, ready to pull his friend away to avoid the scene on the other side.

“—get your head away from my ass! The power strip isn’t even near there you prick!”

“Hey,” Chan defended with a laugh. “In my defense, all you said was it was over here somewhere. How do I know that somewhere isn’t next to your ass?”

The position that the two of you were in was compromising—though not in the way that Jisung had originally expected. It caused the two newcomers to freeze, their brains struggling to really understand what was happening.

The two of you were surrounded by thousands of cables and wires, black foam scattered across the floor as well. You were on your hands and knees, the only visible part of you was your bottom half with your head tucked underneath Chan’s mixing table doing who knows what. As for Chan, he was crawling around same as you, on his hands and knees with an extension cord wrapped around his shoulders.

“Uhm…” Minho gaped, eyes unable to focus on one part of the scene.

Jisung had no trouble at all, his eyes locked solidly on your raised ass.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder, eyes locking with Jisung’s and immediately widening. You couldn’t be in a worse situation—fucking hell.

In your haste to get out from under the table, you slammed the top of your head against one of the sturdy table legs and winced as Chan cracked up from your side.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class—Jesus, ow…” You asked, your hand moving up to rub the forming bump.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, his eyebrows brushing his bangs.

“Y/n wanted some help with her stats class and I needed someone to help me upturn this room and make it into a recording room.” Chan snorted at your little dramatic groans, completely unfazed by the growing frustration on Minho’s face.

But before Minho could say anything to Chan’s statement, Jisung stepped in.

His lips twisted sourly, “I thought Seungmin was going to help you with your stats stuff?”

You shook your head with a huff. “I will not subject myself to that kind of torture and I refuse to let anyone convince me otherwise.”

“Well you could’ve asked me.”

Defeated and jealous; Jisung could no longer hide it.

The two older boys could see it clearly in the way he looked at you with big sad eyes, though neither of them said anything. Chan’s brows furrowed in thought, it looked like you had someone else infatuated with you.

You laughed. “Uh-huh, because you’re the resident genius here. Jisung, you dropped two of your classes last semester because both professors were minutes away from giving you an administrative failure.”

“Yeah, yeah. Jisung’s head is full of rocks—” Minho dismissed, unsympathetic towards the scandalized boy next to him. “Why the hell are you turning my storage room into a junkyard?”

Chan finally stood, pulling the cord from his neck and throwing it to the side in favor of helping you up.

“It was already a junkyard, bundle-boy.” You said, voice clipped and annoyed. Who wouldn’t be after smashing their head against a solid piece of metal? “We were renovating.”

“Like hell you were. I thought I said no to the recording room?”

Minho’s rage was just about completely directed towards Chan, but to your surprise, the guy gave minimal to no reaction. His face stayed indifferent, wide shoulders relaxed and eyes set.

You’ll be dammed, the fucker wasn’t scared.

Chan wasn’t afraid of your brother.

There was someone on the planet who didn’t go running when Minho looked at them funny, and he was standing right next to you in his beautiful sleeveless glory. If you weren’t currently suffering from a possible concussion you would be dropping to one knee and popping the question then and there.

“Oh, so what you said earlier was a no?” Chan (very unconvincingly) feigned innocence. “Sorry, the phone connection must’ve been bad.”

“I was yelling to you from the other room.”

“These walls are very thick, Minho. It’s your apartment, you should know that.”

“Do you want to be homeless?”

“Define; home.”

That was it, he was your one true love.

As Minho began to cross his arms over his chest, squaring up to Chan with the glare of a certifiable killer, you slid out of the way to avoid the oncoming fist fight.

Or explosion, whichever route Minho decided to take.

But then the unthinkable happened—Minho sighed, dropping his arms to his sides and turning towards you.

Both you and Jisung stood speechless, because you just witnessed someone give Minho an attitude and not get beat down afterwards. Hyunjin had once attempted the same thing and had been chased around the quad for a good forty minutes until the taller man had gotten tired and your brother had become uninterested.

Felix told you that they were both reemed during dance practice that night for being too tired to execute their choreography.

Minho shook his head, “You and Changbin were probably going to convince me anyway. Might as well save the wasted time and get it done now.”

Either your brother had a fat crush on Chan, or the Lee Minho was afraid of someone.

You knew Chan was older than him, but someone had to have some sort of super power to keep Minho from kicking their shins and shoving a knee in their face.

“What is happening…?” Jisung wondered, eyes wide and mouth open.

Chan smiled, striding over to clap Jisung on the shoulder, making the shorter boy jump in surprise.

“Good news. We’re getting a recording studio.”

And you would like to get married to one Bang Chan please.

You joined Chan’s side.

“Now you can finish that song you were working on.” You said, nudging Jisung’s shoulder.

He was just going to ignore the sudden wave of excitement at the fact that you remembered that he was working on a song.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jisung laughed tensely. “Looks like I’ll be around more often.”

“Yeah, definitely…”

You nodded absentmindedly, eyes locked on the exposed skin of Chan’s arms. Chan himself didn’t acknowledge your stare, but couldn’t help the smug smile that slid onto his face.

Jisung watched the exchange and groaned, looking over to glare at Minho for failing him the only time it truly would end badly for him. Because of course Minho had to be soft for Chan and of course Chan had to be moving in.

Why couldn’t Chan just be ugly?

“Okay,” Chan sighed, placing all the wires he held into a pile on the floor. Suddenly, he turned to you, “You held up your end of the bargain. Let’s work on some stats, huh?”

Your eyes widened for a second, caught in headlights.

“Oh,” was your smart reply. “But we didn’t get to finish?”

Chan waved it off. “The only reason we tried to get it all done was to make sure Minho couldn’t say no. Now that he’s accepted it, we don’t have to rush.”

As much as it bothered him not to finish a project.

You laughed at the little punch Minho threw at Chan’s shoulder on his way out of the room, mumbling something about “going to bed before Changbin comes home to beg for food”. He also made sure to pinch your cheek before leaving.

After swatting at Minho’s hand, you grinned.

“Okay, well… Let’s figure out how we’re going to do this.”

Chan mimicked your smile with a nod.

No way, Jisung thought as you followed his older friend out into the living room, no fucking way.

You just left him without an acknowledging glance his way, and all of a sudden he had a really terrible feeling about leaving you and Chan alone together. Anything could happen—kissing, fucking, god forbid you talk to him. You could become closer and gain feelings for the guy, which would not be a hard task considering Chan was basically the human embodiment of the sun and every damn person seemed to be pulled into his orbit after the first meeting.

Dammit, it was even difficult for Jisung to be mad at him. The guy was too lovable.

Cursing under his breath, Jisung all but ran into the living room to prevent any and all touching or deep talks, because heaven knew how much Chan talked about deep shit.

Ew, he sounded like Minho.

“You don’t have any notes at all?” Chan asked, eyebrows raised. “What do you even do in there?”

You let out a sigh.

“Stats is where I usually do my biology work.”

“Then what do you do in biology?” He questioned bluntly, his eyes skimming all the lost files on your computer that you had given up on ages ago.

“That’s where I write all my essays. The teacher—”

“—never stands up from his chair.”

With wide eyes, you laughed in surprise. Your mouth formed many words but nothing stumbled out, perhaps for a good reason because what you had in your head wasn’t very coherent on its own.

So you just pointed at the snickering Chan, “You…?”

His head shook and your mood dropped.

“I don’t do work for other classes,” he corrected, the mischievous smile slowly sliding onto his lips giving you a little hope back. “I actually produced a whole song in that class.”

Was Jisung dreaming or were you looking at Chan with those big bewildered eyes? Was that what was happening right in front of him? Could he be seeing things?

For once he really hoped he was going insane.

“I knew I wasn’t the only one that slacked off in that class!” You chirped, bouncing a little in your seat.

“And I still got a one-hundred on my exam.” He told you pointedly before passing on the laptop and leaning back on the couch.

Normally, smugness wouldn’t have been attractive to you but on Chan it was something else. His eyes lit up in a way that was almost pretty.

There was a pull towards him as he just sat there and looked at you. It was something that set you on edge in the same way it put you at ease, he just had such a conflicting presence and you really didn’t know how to process it. So your body pushed you forward on it’s own, and with no complaints from him, you felt your hand come to rest on his knee—

But out of the fucking blue, Jisung was throwing himself between you two, his thinner body fitting snuggly in the unfilled space. You sputtered and Chan nearly yelped, holding his hand to his chest to placate his thudding heart.

“Jisung—what the fuck?”

“Did you just jump over the back of the couch?” Chan frowned looking over his shoulder to really determine the path Jisung took to get there.

Jisung smiled obnoxiously, “I just figured I’d help you guys out. Considering I’m also in that class.” He wiggles a little more to separate the two of you even more. “And three brains are better than two.”

“Not when yours is nonexistent.” You quipped, feeling your lips pull into a pout at the intruder.

“Ah, how I love your humor.”

Jisung poked your nose with a tight lipped smile.

Sending Chan a look of apology, he shrugged, falling back further into the couch.

“Sure, why not?” Was his response, shoulders lifting up and falling back down with a huff. “Let me help you set up some proper notes.”

Jisung brought his hands together once to create a near deafening sound that had you even more irritable. His happy-go-lucky mood wasn’t funny when you were on the receiving end of the annoyance.

One nice thing—you couldn’t have one single nice thing ever.

Between your brother and his dumb best friend (that you may or may not have sorta feelings for) you couldn’t do anything. Your prime years were being wasted on sucky romance movies with Felix and Hyunjin and cat fights with Jisung. You couldn’t afford such bullshit for much longer.

“You know I love you, Y/n.”

“Stuff your love up your ass.”

The rest of the week passed by smoothly with minimal conflict on your end and grades that didn’t have you contemplating slamming your face into a wall. On weekends you usually spent most of your time at Minho’s apartment while Changbin dicked around at the gym and your brother slept for the forty-eight hours that he had to himself. You could watch movies and finish your homework with no distractions.

That was until Chan decided to move in and steal your attention every moment he could. You were even starting to suspect that he was doing it on purpose after the time he walked out of the bathroom in only a bath towel and responded with a “oh, I didn’t notice you there”.

You also concluded that Felix was a snitch and no longer deserved your friendship, because once you shared with him your encounter with Chan, everyone in your group of friends was wired in to everything that concerned you and Chan.

Especially Jisung. Which eventually caused—

“Jisung why the hell are you following me?”

The boy in question didn’t bother to acknowledge you, instead he simply continued to walk at your side, hands stuffed deep in his pockets and hair just a little messier than usual, “What do you mean? This is how I get to my next class.”

You snorted. “Last time I checked, you had dropped your two-thirty class. And even then, it was on the other side of the building.”

Jisung couldn’t help but roll his pretty brown eyes.

“Stalker…”

“Says the guy who’s been up my ass all day.” You chirped, taking pride in the way he glared at you.

Jisung threw his hands up in frustration. He knew what he was doing was out of character, sure. But did he want to be called out on it?

“Can I not hang out with you? God, Y/n. We’ve known each other for years, I’d think you’d get used to me being around.”

You merely shook your head with a laugh, continuing forward.

“You’re really something else.”

He snorted, “So you’re being an adult now?”

“When am I not the adult when I’m with you? There’s no room for stupid energy with you around.” You replied cheekily

“Well I’m sorry for hogging all the ‘stupid energy’, damn…”

The way that Jisung held up the air quotes for “stupid energy” had your cheeks aching from how hard you smiled.

“Well, I’m going to lunch with Felix and Hyunjin right now. So unless you want to be subjected to their combined stupidity, I would suggest you go back to your dorm.” You sent him a small smile over your shoulder, just barely missing the way he tripped over his feet because of it.

Felix had called you in a rush right as you were getting out of your last class of the day and asked you to come eat lunch with him and Hyunjin. It was a one sided conversation that lasted almost ten seconds but you figured you had no other choice but to comply. Whatever reason he had for being in such a hurry was enough for you to listen.

“But you can come if you want, Sungie. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Sungie.

It had been a while since you last called him that nickname—possibly way back when you were in primary school. It sent chills down his spine to hear you call him that again.

Jisung caught up to you easily, slinging his arm around your shoulders just as he used to when you began calling him Sungie. Over the years it had started to put a strain on him since he found it hard to differentiate what was friendly and what was too friendly. He had a girlfriend after all, and there were only so many things he could do with other girls that was acceptable.

But of course you were just Y/n. The little sister that bothered them all day and called him Sungie.

He didn’t have to feel embarrassed to hug you or tease you or hide his insecurities behind stupid pick up lines. Now matter how much it made his heart pound in his chest, you were still Minho’s baby sister—you were Jisung’s baby sister.

“I’d like that, my dear.” Jisung said, stuffing his free hand into his pocket and pulling you closer.

So close that it almost felt domestic.

Y’know, as domestic as it could get with someone who was like a little sister to him. He had a beautiful girlfriend too, so the domestication was more like a… family comfort and less like how it would feel if you were married and he was allowed to hold you as close as he wanted—

“Ah, you’re warm,” you hummed, making a small fuss of tucking yourself further into his hold. “It always looks like it’s going to be nice outside, but it seems like the weather changes its mind just as much as Hyunjin.”

You didn’t notice but Jisung was completely lost to everything you said after “you’re warm”. He just continued to hum and nod as if his brain wasn’t completely fried.

Jisung was in the midst of a mental breakdown when you somehow managed to lead him to the small restaurant right outside of the university. It was a popular place since it was so close and dolled out cheap food in a matter of seconds, which definitely appealed to its main demographic.

You spotted Felix’s head of purple hair immediately, a bright smile etched onto his face as he spoke animatedly to the waiter standing at the ready. The boy was cute, black hair and pretty dimples that made him appear younger. He also looked friendly with Felix with how he spoke with a wide smile that showed his perfect teeth.

You approached the table, shrugging Jisung’s arm off of you and ignoring his whine in protest.

“I made it,” you announced, gaining the attention of your friends—

And fuck.

You met eyes with Seungmin sitting in the seat beside Felix, and felt your shoulders slump as he flashed you a smirk.

“Glad you could come, Y/n.” Seungmin all but sang at your visible distress.

But Felix had a hold on your arm before you could respond with attitude, tugging you dangerously close to the waiter at your side.

“Y/n, this is Jeongin—” Felix gestured towards the boy who lifted his hand to wave. “He’s a school friend of Hyunjin’s.”

“It’s my last year.” Jeongin added with a shy laugh.

Peeling your eyes away from Seungmin, you got a good look at the boy in front of you. The unexpected cuteness both startled you and made your stomach flip. You really had to withhold from squealing and pinching his cheeks. He was so cute.

You smiled genuinely, “It’s nice to meet you, Jeonginnie.”

A small wave of red covered his ears at the sudden nickname, his long eyelashes fluttering in surprise.

Jisung just about combusted in his spot. He was getting pretty sick and tired of keeping tabs on all the boys you managed to hook around your finger, it was starting to get out of hand. Okay, maybe he was the stalker.

In a bout of frustration, Jisung grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, sliding into the booth beside Hyunjin and tugging you after him. You made a noise of surprise as your ass connected harshly with the cracked red cushion of the booth, sending Jisung a glare.

Though, he kept his eyes on the table, avoiding the amused looks on everyone’s faces, even going as far as swatting away Hyunjin’s poking fingers. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to release your hand from his.

Jisung’s palm was sweaty in your hold, but strangely enough it was something that you didn’t mind.

Jeongin looked between you and Jisung for a moment before quickly coming to some sort of realization that only Felix seemed to understand. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and a small smirk was suddenly on his lips as he asked what drink you would like.

Whatever that was about, you didn’t like it.

“I’ll just have a water.” You answered skeptically, finally managing to pull your fingers free of Jisung’s grip.

“Water for me too.”

Jeongin didn’t bother to write down your orders, instead he just nodded and left with that same goofy smile on his face.

Why did your friends have to corrupt the poor kid?

You sent a glare towards Felix, ready to grill him about what the hell just happened but his eyes were on something else above your head, his lips forming into the same smirk that Jeongin had on. Whatever what’s either above you or behind you was either a stupid compilation video of League of Legend funny moments or your next victim.

“Care for one more?” Came from behind you.

And both your and Jisung’s heads swiveled around at a dangerous speed to see the beautiful image of Chan, and damn was he beautiful. He was dressed for the weather, arms now covered in a long black sweater that hugged every one of his muscles so so nicely, and instead of sweatpants, he was wearing jeans. You could definitely tell the difference between a casual day around the house and one where he was going to be seen out in public—was that makeup?

And Jisung frowned. It had been going so well.

It was his turn to send Felix a glare.

The purple haired boy mouthed something along the lines of “girlfriend”, but Jisung couldn’t (could) really make it out.

“Sit down.” You managed to choke out, motioning toward the table.

“Hey!” Felix greeted, standing up to fully embrace Chan in a hug.

You were floored.

“You know each other?”

Felix’s eyes flickered towards you, “We both grew up in Sydney.”

And you thought your eyes were going to pop out of your skull.

“You’re Australian?” You gaped, watching Chan as if he had sprouted a new head.

He then proceeded to spout off some heavily accented words that you could barely make sense of, and you could feel your heart practically flutter in your chest. After meeting Felix, you never thought you’d ever find an Australian accident sexy as hell—but Chan’s was, in fact, very sexy as hell.

“Wow,” Hyunjin whistled. “What does it take for one to become Australian, because fuck.”

You didn’t think you would ever agree with Hyunjin so much in your life.

Chan snorted. “I think you have to be born in Australia unfortunately.”

“Or you know,” Felix tossed sarcastically. “Live there.”

“Damn. Always the catch.”

You sighed, almost going as far as face-palming yourself and/or slamming your forehead against the table.

Instead you just sent Chan an embarrassed smile. “You can sit down if you aren’t planning on running away.”

“Thanks.” He laughed.

Unfortunately for you, there were already three people in your booth and he wouldn’t be able to fit beside you.

Fortunately for Jisung, there were already three people in your booth and Chan wouldn’t be able to fit beside you.

But when Chan began to slide in the seat next to Felix, Hyunjin suddenly jumped with a yelp, glaring at the suspicious looking Felix in front of him. The two had a very strange conversation with their eyes before Hyunjin was huffing a sigh and maneuvering himself to slip under the booth and (clumsily, you may add) pop out on the other side of Seungmin, ignoring the spectacled boys' complaints as he sends Chan a smile.

Stupid plotting assholes.

“Just wanted to sit next to my… uh—”

“Boyfriend?” You supplied, blinking at him dully.

“Yeah, my boy—hey, fuck you!”

“Sorry, were you waiting to tell people?”

He took the liberty to be the kicker instead of the kickee and sent his foot into your ankle, making you hiss with a glare.

Felix nudged Chan’s hip to direct him into the spot beside you, his mouth open in a wide smile as you are further squished between both Jisung and Chan. With one boy being very broad and the other being very clingy, you barely had any room at all.

“Y/n, you look a little cramped, why don’t you scoot over here a little more—?”

“Jisung, if I get any closer to you, I would be on top of you.”

Hey, he wasn’t completely opposed to that plan.

Jisung certainly would rather have you on his lap than Chan’s. He couldn’t even think about that without grasping for your hand again, though you were too fast and managed to wiggle out of his grip.

“Yeah, Y/n. Why don’t you just scoot over?” Hyunjin sang, his mouth curled up in a coy little smirk that he always had carved onto his face.

“You scheming little—”

But your words were cut off by the clearing of a throat.

Seungmin leaned over the table, and the way his sleeves were rolled to his forearms was suddenly very noticeable. He looked at you with the intention to kill, and had he not been a prudish reincarnation of the devil, you would’ve thought he looked hot as fuck.

“Do you want me to retell the little incident that took place at last year’s Christmas party?”

A collective gasp went around the table, Chan being the only one who was absolutely clueless.

Felix whispered something under his breath about how “that was sworn to secrecy”, and Hyunjin’s wide eyes stuck to the side of Seungmin’s face like glue.

Even Jisung broke out of his jealous stupor to gulp.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.”

That was the true form of Kim Seungmin.

“What? Do dinners like this happen all the time?” Chan asked. “Do you ever actually eat?”

As if on queue, Jeongin stepped up to the table, notepad in hand and wide eyes sparkling. “Are you guys ready to order—?”

But Felix was dragging the boy down to his height, whispering something quickly into his ear, causing his eyes to widen. After enlarging, his gaze flickered back and forth between you, Jisung and Chan.

“I… will give you guys a few more minutes.”

Jeongin scurried off and you wanted to kill everyone at the table.

“Well, I’m going to answer my own question here and say no. There will be no eating food today.” Chan hummed, tossing his menu onto the table similarly to a petulant child.

You huffed. What did you ever do to deserve any of this?

With both boys at either side of you, it seemed to create a visual representation of the conflict in your mind. And Seungmin looked like he was ready to pass out with how hard he was trying to hold in his laughter as Felix and Hyunjin simply smiled your way.

To say that the two boys were completely clueless, would’ve been an understatement—

With Chan too busy thinking about all the food he wouldn’t be eating and Jisung preoccupied trying to grab ahold of your hand, they didn’t once notice the way that the three little devils stared holes into their heads.

“I literally can’t stand any of you.”

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minor-solemnity · 4 years ago

Text

Invention and Intrigue pt.2

Tag List: @jinxqsu @cakesarecute @naps-and-lemons @mainlynonsense @riddles-wifey

He’s looking at you as though he knows you, as though he sees something familiar in you. The thought makes the hairs on the back of your arms stand on end. He reaches out, cups your cheek gently and then lets his hand drop to his side. “Show me the spell.”

You spend the next week swinging wildly between panic and resignation. You can’t figure out why Riddle wouldn’t go to the Headmaster - he’s Head Boy. As far as you’re aware, he’s never broken a rule in his entire academic career and it’s no secret the kind of company he keeps. So why on earth would he allow you to get away with what you’ve done? It’s this question that sends you half-mad with paranoia and anxiety. You see Lestrange glowering at you whenever you pass him and there’s a large part of you that’s beginning to suspect that Riddle hasn’t told any of the professors because he and Lestrange are planning something far worse than expulsion for you. Revenge is the only explanation you can think of.

Melanie, bless her, remains blissfully unaware of the fact that you’re spiralling into a vortex of paranoia and worry. She chats happily to you over breakfast on Thursday morning about George Warrington, about how he’s been a perfect gentleman so far. He pulls her chair out for her in the lessons they share together, offers her his cloak when she complains about the cold, laughs at her jokes even when they’re not funny. You smile and nod and hum your happiness for her in all the right places but your eyes remain fixed on the Slytherin table across from you.

You absently take a sip of your tea and almost spit it back out when Riddle suddenly looks up from his breakfast and meets your eye, as though he knew you’d been watching him this whole time. He cocks his head to the side and even from this distance you can see the amused smirk playing on his lips. He raises his glass up and inclines his head slightly in a mock toast. A toast to what? Your idiocy for cursing Lestrange in public? The knowledge he has over you? Your impending demise? He takes a long sip of his drink and you don’t want to notice (but do anyway) the elegant column of his neck, the shift in his throat as he swallows. He maintains eye contact and smirks, a thumb rising to dab at his mouth. You’re gaze snaps to your porridge in front of you and ignore the way your cheeks feel suddenly hot.

“Are you alright? You look rather flushed,” Melanie asks, finally halting her increasingly giddy descriptions of George’s skill with his broom to look at you quizzically.

“Mmm, fine. Just, you know tired. Dreading Herbology. The usual.” She purses her lips in a way that suggests she doesn’t quite believe you but you’re saved from having to answer any of her questions when George makes an appearance next to him. She beams up at him and you watch with mild nausea as he kisses her on the mouth. You’re no prude by any means, but watching your best friend and her new beau learn the crevices of each others’ mouths before nine o’clock is a little much. You cough a little pointedly but Melanie is evidently too distracted to notice so, with a roll of your eyes, you grab your satchel and head for the exit.

You’ve still got another half an hour before Herbology starts but it’s a nice day so you settle down on one of the stone benches by the greenhouses and pull out the book you’ve been reading. It’s a deceptively thin, nondescript text and you’ve read it cover-to-cover at least three times already. Still, it’s one of the most useful books you’ve found on breaking down spell components to their most fundamental parts. You’re so engrossed in your reading that you don’t acknowledge the person who has just sat down beside you.

A flash of gold and onyx obscures the print and Riddle is plucking the book from your hands. “Excuse me, I was reading that,” You squawk, making a grabbing motion to retrieve your book. Riddle looks entirely unperturbed, he’s lounging out on the stone bench, long legs stretched out in front of him. He looks positively regal. He ignores you as his eyes flick rapidly over the page you’d just been reading. “Do you mind?” And maybe it isn’t particularly smart of you to snap at him the way you are. He has more than enough ammunition against you to ruin your life and the fact that he hasn’t yet only serves to make you warier of him. But you hate people touching your things. It reminds you too much of all the times in your first few years at Hogwarts when little snot-nosed purebloods had taunted you by messing with your things.

“Not particularly, no,” He says at last and you don’t like the amusement that laces his voice. You don’t like it one bit. It reminds you that when you peel back the layers of good manners and cultivated gentility, Tom Riddle is just as snakelike as the rest of his house. “This is an interesting choice,” He continues as if he’s oblivious to your less than charitable feelings towards him. “Though perhaps less surprising considering your, ah, extracurricular pursuits, no?” He hums in amusement at the shuddering sigh that escapes you.

“Speaking of those pursuits, I’d like it if you would meet me after dinner tonight. Eight o’clock by the statue of Artemisia Lufkin.” The way he says it, you can tell it’s more of a demand than anything else, but something that looks suspiciously like uncertainty flickers across his expression before he can hide it. Despite yourself, you find yourself oddly endeared.

Part of you (the sensible part of you that you should really start listening to more often) wants to protest and make an excuse but you remember the position you’re in - the position you only have yourself to blame for - and are forced to swallow your reservations. At your very small, very reluctant nod, Riddle smiles widely, eyes gleaming with unspoken triumph. “Lovely, I look forward to it.”

When he hands your book back to you, his fingers brush yours and linger for just a moment too long.

***

“What? No. No, absolutely not.” You’re staring in horror at the cage that Riddle has placed on the desk in front of you. Inside the cage, there’s a large fluffy cottontail rabbit. It’s nose twitches. It’s very cute. From somewhere behind you, Riddle sighs in exasperation.

“You realise that to demonstrate your spell for me, there will have to be a living target?” You wrinkle your nose at the patronising tone he uses. “And whilst I appreciate you might favour practising on Slytherins, I cannot in good conscience allow a repeat performance.”

“That was different,” You say and wince internally at the slight whine audible in your voice. “I’m not a sadist-”

“No, you’re not. That’s hardly what I was trying to say,” He cuts in, still amused, still pleasant, still utterly in control. He moves to your side, close enough that your arm brushes his, close enough to tell that despite the deceptive pleasantness, there's an undeniable air of excitement clinging to him. “Forgive me, but I’m finding it difficult to understand why you, a muggleborn, would spend time inventing such a spell and then test it out on a pureblood unless it was because there is a part of you that really does wish to inflict pain on those you deem worthy of it. Tell me, what got you interested in such dark magic to begin with? It’s hardly an interest commonly pursued by people of your status.”

You feel decidedly out of sorts at his appraisal of you. You don’t like to think of yourself as a violent person and you certainly don’t like that other people might see you as one. But it’s difficult to deny the obvious logic behind his questioning: you’d known exactly what that spell would do to Lestrange and you’d known that there would be a chance that it would do more damage than you’d intended. You just… hadn’t cared. You’d wanted him to suffer, to hurt, to feel fear as intimately as you have for years. You’d wanted him to look at you and know that he was lucky to be alive. “An interest in dark magic is hardly a statement of intent.” You say, at last, determinedly ignoring the fact that almost draining a man of all their blood in an abandoned dungeon probably is. He raises an eyebrow to let you know that the irony is hardly lost on him either and you sigh.

“Magic is… You know the first time I performed accidental magic it was to smash my teacher’s favourite paperweight?” You can’t help but laugh at the memory. At the time you had been so angry over some perceived injustice that you can’t even remember anymore. She’d been so upset and seven year old you had been so pleased with yourself. “I think the second time I did the opposite - fixed a vase my mother had dropped. My point being, magic is about-”

“Intent,” He summarises softly, watching you with unabashed interest. “You don’t think there’s a distinction between light and dark magic.”

It’s not a question. You nod slowly in agreement anyway.“That spell could easily be used in conjunction with a blood replenishing potion as cure for blood diseases. And...” You trail off uncertainty setting in as you regard the boy in front of you. Riddle hasn’t shown you any animosity, on the contrary, he acts as though he wants to know you, as though he’s seen something in you that he likes. You feel like you could maybe trust him. “And I don’t feel guilty for defending myself against someone who’s told me that they want me dead just because of my heritage.”

You’re not sure what you’re expecting from Riddle, but it certainly isn’t the glint of recognition that sparks in his eyes. He’s looking at you as though he knows you, as though he sees something familiar in you. The thought makes the hairs on the back of your arms stand on end. Riddle fixes you with a look of such intensity that you can’t bare to look away. His eyes never leave yours as he reaches out and cups your cheek gently and you have to fight to keep your breathing steady. “You should never feel guilty for demonstrating your power against those weaker than you.”

He drops his hand and moves to stand behind you, closer than is strictly necessary. Leaning forward slightly, he murmurs in your ear, “Please, show me the spell.”

And this time, god help you, you do.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

#tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle x oc #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle fic #minific #jinxqsu

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caterpellas · 4 years ago

Text

munich nights • harry styles

summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry’s relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.

warnings: smut (oral m recieving)

genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut

pt 1/? (two is here) word count: 4k

a/n: this is my first time writing in like a year so some feedback would be amazing, pls be kind and show some love to my crumby attempt lol

chapter playlist :D

harry.

he was sort of your anchor. unspoken, of course, that he had taken such a high profile role in your life. he didn’t need to know, to know. you were certain it worked in reverse, that you grounded him just like he did for you.

you’re not sure of the timestamp on the beginning of your friendship, sometime 3 years ago after mindlessly chatting in a shoreditch bar, at the sort of venue you were both cackling over after a couple of overpriced gin and tonics.

“i’m not sure why i came here, it really isn’t my scene,” you said after calming your laughter down.

“me neither. i’m not all that into £18 cocktails made with organic fruit juice,” he jested back, although you felt a hint of sadness in the next, “it makes me miss home.”

after that you clicked instantly.

you both bonded over being musicians; your styles contrasted entirely though. his band, who you met a few occasions later, were the antithesis to yours. mitch and sarah looked and sounded like they were fresh from a 70’s pop rock band, whilst your bassist and drummer, both twins, had buzzed heads and black dr martens on 24/7. the differences between you and him didn’t matter in the slightest. which is why, after 18 months of building the strongest friendship you’d had in your life, he asked you and your band to come on tour with him.

touring with your best friend and now biggest fan was the single greatest experience of your life. you would admit to the apprehension you first felt about opening for harry as your music wasn’t exactly in keeping with his genre- you were a little grungier then his soft style. i suppose the opposites between you is what enhanced everything about your relationship, musically and personally. in articles harry was always praised for his effeminate fashion choices, and since gaining some recognition as his opener, the articles were now mentioning how you dressed too, hyping up your more boyish, ‘can’t be bothered’ clothing taste you’d developed over your years in the band. your shoes were always chunky and platform, your top or bottoms usually oversized and always with the same thick chain around your neck. to some, your style seemed intimidating but it couldn’t be further from the truth. harry knew that best of all.

3 months into the tour now, you had made it to munich for the 1st night of your european portion of the tour. you and harry were sat next to one another on the plane, sharing an earpod each, playing music from your playlist titled “h”. you hadn’t been able to sleep on the overnight flight, after reading a particularly disturbing article about harry’s recent paparazzi shots. “harry styles’ player ways making a comeback?” it read, and pictured him with a couple models you’d met in new york together after going out for the night. you couldn’t place why but the article made you feel sick. you put it down to seeing such a close friend’s name slandered in the press, and you hoped he hadn’t read it yet. harry was often disheartened after reading the gossip people like to spread about him, occasionally involving you as well.

“you seem very deep in thought.” harry’s morning voice could be heard over the sound of steely dan in your ears. turning to him, one of his eye’s peering at you, you reply, “not really- just thinking about the set list.”

“you need to switch off your work brain sometimes,” he grins up at you, “have a little more fun! munich will be great, lots of beer to try.”

“of course that’s what you look forward to most. you know munich is filled with some beautiful architecture and history right?”

“that’s great and all, but you know what else they have?” harry questions you and you shake your head.

“oktoberfest.”

you arrived at your airbnb not long after- harry’s band and yours all preferred staying in a large house or apartment then some posh hotel that didn’t feel quite as welcoming. harry’s manager picked the place out, opting for a villa that sleeps 10 people, filled to the brim with oak panelling and a big fire place in the centre of the room. there was a hot tub outside that would probably never be used in your short stay there. the kitchen had a large island in the middle and a big aga keeping the place warm in the late september weather. his manager really outdid herself this time.

“this is place is so beautiful,” you still weren’t over all of the beautiful places this tour had taken you, the short time you’d been travelling had been a sensory overload.

“you’ll really like munich, y/n,” harry said yawning, grabbing both your shoulders from behind. his touch took your mind back to the article.

“harry,” you started, reluctantly turning to face him, “i know it’s none of my business who you, you know- fuck, but i was just wondering what happened with those models after i left?” harry’s calm expression never faltered as he answered, “me and camila kissed in the taxi but then i went back to the hotel. why?” you didn’t have the strength to answer honestly, and tell him it was because the thought of him having a threesome with two supermodels made you physically wretch, but you felt an obligation to give him a somewhat truthful answer.

“i saw an article about it, the paps caught a glimpse of it,” you white-lied. if you were going to be honest with yourself, the reason him with people like camila and gina bothered you so much is because of the way you compared yourself to them. you were overall confident, you were proud of your style and “gives no fucks” attitude you’d built up over the years, but these were literal models. women who were paid, like paid a lot, because they were beautiful. harry’s dating history has had a lot of women you could never measure up to be as good as and that was a real confidence breaker.

“well anyway, are you ready for tonight’s show? we were thinking it would be cool if you guys came on with us and...”

harry, as per usual, performed with all of his heart and soul and yet again amazed you. he had been doing this for three months, playing at least three shows a week and his energy levels were still unmatchable. you were back in your dressing room, taking off your stage clothes and putting on an almost identical outfit, wiping the sweat off your brow and upper lip. the monitor in your room played harry’s set, and you had to find any way you could to distract yourself from his performance before you ended up fantasising about the way his sweaty curls cling to his neck and how you wished he was sweating like that just for you, for an entirely different reason.

“thank you so much munich!” you hear harry’s accent through the small tv, and look up to see him panting and grinning, before running off stage. you had no idea why, but tonight there was a small amount of nervousness about you. since reading the article, you’ve had to address the gnawing idea that you could possibly have feelings for harry that were more than just your deep set friendship. would you act differently about the man you loved more than anyone in this world? you didn’t want things to change- they were perfect with him. he’d jest with you when you became too much of a perfectionist about your latest song, telling you to stop thinking so hard or you’ll have an aneurysm. if people commented on his style or yours, he’d laugh it off and tell everyone he’s “the woman in the relationship” sarcastically, and you’d be in awe at how he essentially said a huge “fuck you” to gender norms. he made you comfortable being you and you coveted his ability to be so happy being him. the thought of this bond being broken frightened you to your core. the knock at your door was a good signal for your thoughts to end.

“you coming y/n?” the group of you were all headed to a german beer bar, since harry was so eager to try the world famous pilsner. finding a large lounge space with sofas inside the bar, you all sat and ordered a round, celebrating a good night’s work.

“to the first night in europe,” you toasted, “cheers!” all your glasses clinked together and the nervous feeling started to fade finally. sat next to harry, you discussed the tour so far, he told a story about being in one direction and it reminded you of a hilarious story from when you were 15, when you used to listen to emo music and swore how much you hated one direction, and they all laughed at the irony. if you had told your 15 year old self this was where you’d be at 21, you’d have snorted and laughed till you cried. but life works out in strange ways and you wouldn’t change it for a second. a few drinks in and any of those nervous feelings about what harry was to you had evaporated like alcohol till you eventually had to remind yourself that whilst your hand was on harry’s knee, it meant nothing. and the way he leans forward to you as he laughed at your not-so-funny joke. but those reminders were getting weaker the more his touch started to linger after he went to go and grab his pint the same time you did.

“we really must stop meeting like this,” he jokes as your hand rubs against his for the 50th time that might and you laugh at him because your afraid if you don’t play it off as a joke you’ll lean over and kiss him. you find yourself in need of a distraction from his low buttoned shirt and endless black ink drawn across his chest that you can see in high definition when your this close to him.

“i’m going to get another round,” you exclaim dramatically, telling yourself more than the rest of the group. making your way over to the bar, you can feel harry’s vision bearing into your back as you lean against the counter to get service.

“another round of pilsners on the table’s tab please,” you ask as soberly as you can. you’re not off your face yet, but the alcohol is definitely present, surrounding the corners of your vision.

“i’d rather by you a drink.” a slightly german accent crowds your ears and you look over to see a man, not all that different to some of the guys in harry’s band, smirking at you.

nervous, you reply, “no you don’t need to do that we have a tab here.”

“i insist.” afraid to be impolite you quietly thank him, and turn back to the bar. you can’t even think of chatting to guy at a bar whilst the man you love is sat so close by. even though it’s not returned, the pain of giving him up to flirt with a stranger is too much to bare.

“so what brings you to a local’s bar like this one?”

“me and my friends are working here for the night.”

“just here for the night? such a shame,” his smile, although attempting to seem unthreatening, is making you uncomfortable. the bartender seems to be taking forever with your order.

“i’m staying in a hotel a few minutes away, come and join me and their bar for a real drink?” your heart was pounding. you rarely got hit on so you were a little out of practice on how to deal with persistent assholes like these ones.

“i can show you how the germans like to do it.” that was it- he’d gone too far and you were so embarrassed by this point you were too humiliated to even reply to him. your neck was getting hotter and you could feel your cheeks reddening.

“you okay?” harry’s voice took you out of your panic-stricken state, “you were taking a while.”

turning to harry and preparing to tell him how this man won’t get the message, the german creep pipes up, “she’s fine mate. we were just discussing a date.”

“listen mate, i suggest you back off. alright?” harry grabbed your hand, tightly, and guided you out of the bar.

“harry where are we going?” you could barely comprehend what had happened in the last five minutes to even realise he was hailing a taxi.

“back to the house. i’ll text the others.”

“harry i’m fine honestly it’s no-“

“who said i was fine? i wanted to leave and i thought maybe you did too.” he was angry, which wasn’t something you saw in harry often. he was a happy guy, and optimistic about most things in life.

“is this because of that guy?”

“of course it is y/n.”

“i’m sorry i didn’t realise he’d be an assho-“

“why’re you apologising?”

this shut you up. you didn’t know why. this wasn’t the first time a guy had been slightly predatory towards you and you doubted it would be the last. after the first couple times your in situations like this you tend to see yourself as the problem and not the guys doing it.

“i don’t know, harry.” you climbed into the cab together and harry gave them the address, seeming somewhat cooled off from earlier. your head was buzzing from the alcohol and the fact that harry had essentially rescued you from what could have been a scary situation.

“harry?”

“yeah, y/n?”

“why did you kiss camila?” alcohol had made you more outspoken and you asked the question that had been driving your nervous energy all night.

“why are you asking?”

a little more honestly then last time, you answered, “i’m just curious.” harry shifted in his chair, slightly unnerved by the question. his whole demeanour had shifted entirely from earlier. he was close and warm with you, the friend you’d become addicted to being with. now he was closed off and moody- a rare sight for anyone who knew him well. you could have picked a better time to ask the question, of course, but you had to know. you had other questions too, like why he was so angry right now, and why did he care that i was chatting with a guy at the bar, even if he was a creep.

“because she wanted to kiss me and i wanted to kiss her. the same reason most humans kiss,” there was a slight element of humour back in his voice now.

“and that was it?”

“yep.”

“hmm.” you tried to ponder this, but your attention span was limited when you were this inebriated. your thought process had quickly moved from harry’s sex life to harry in general and his outfit of the evening- a personal favourite. he’d worn white cream trousers with a vest top and an unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, along with the necklace you’d given him last christmas. you could see his two swallows peaking from the straps of his wife beater and your mind wandered to the thought of having your mouth against them. against all his tattoos, individually placing a kiss on each and everyone that you had grown to fall in love with.

you remembered the memory of harry coming with you to get your largest tattoo, a greek statue on your upper arm.

“harry you know this isn’t the first one i’ve gotten?” you laugh at how hard he was clutching your hand in the chair next to your seat.

“i know but i’m so excited for you. i want you to know i’ll be sat here the whole time to hold your hand,” he squeezes your hand to emphasise his point.

“harry i’m getting another tattoo not going into life-altering surgery.”

but inside, you were squealing at his words.

“y/n?”

harry’s less chipper current voice took you out of your memory and back to the cab in munich.

“you’ve been staring at my chest for a couple minutes,” his brows were furrowed as he studied your face.

“i want to lick it.” if someone had asked you why you answered with that, you genuinely couldn’t give them a good answer. alcohol didn’t do much to you, except allow you to have fun, and lose any sense of a filter. now was a perfect example of the effects. harry’s eyes widened at your candour- and so did yours. his calm expression only faltered for a few seconds though, before it returned to his neutral, warm face.

“what else?”

“i-uh- what?”

“what else were you thinking about?” your heart was beating so loudly you were sure harry could feel it across in his seat. why was harry asking this? you didn’t want him to know about your thoughts- they were far too embarrassing and far too private.

“i was thinking about all your tattoos,” you confessed.

“i was thinking about yours too.” you thought about all of your tattoos and remembered the dog rose you had on the back of your thigh, as well as the koi carp on your hip bone.

“which ones?”

“the flowers and the fish.” you gulped, knowing he was thinking of your most risqué tattoos.

harry, unusually, was completely serious as he said, “i thought about licking yours too.” you didn’t know where you stood with harry now. you were sat in a taxi, having the conversation with him that you thought would never happen. he wants you the same way you want him. he may not want you the same way a nagging voice told you. he could just be looking for an easy fuck, and you thought to yourself that even if that was all he wanted, you’d still give yourself to him.

“harry-“

“maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore, yeah?” you felt like you could cry- how could he not want to talk, and you were on tour together? this was the most gut wrenching feeling to have him tell you not to talk anymore. harry studied your face as you lip began to quiver, “jesus y/n i meant about the current conversation. of course i want to keep talking to you, i love you- you know, like a friend.”

“like a friend?” you couldn’t ever begin to describe how your heart felt like it fell to the pit of your stomach whilst the acid slowly burnt it away. friends is it. harry isn’t yours to have and he never will be, he just had to remind you in words of this.

“well we’re both a little drunk and clearly turned on- maybe just this once it could be more than friends? just for tonight, i mean?” harry’s clear green eyes didn’t stop looking into yours, and he seemed, i’m not sure, hopeful? as if on cue, the taxi took you back to your villa which was warmly lit from inside and you felt a nervous excitement crawl up your arms and legs at what could possibly come next. harry gave the driver the cash and you dashed quickly to the door of the house, the cool september air cutting through you both dressed inappropriately for the time of year. it dawned on you that your outfit- a big vintage men’s shirt with your oldest and favourite pair of dr martens with sheer tights- wasn’t the wisest choice. harry fumbled with unlocking the door and opened it to find the fire lit and the lights dimmed. it was more romantic than either of you would ever mention out loud but it felt like the house was routing for you. you weren’t sure where harry wanted this to go next, the air beginning to stiffen and feel awkward.

turning to face him, you started, “harry i-“ his lips met yours in an instance and any of the awkwardness left in the room had been dissolved by harry’s soft kiss. he tasted good, despite the beer you’d both been drinking and had you not been intoxicated by the pilsner and harry’s gentle touch, you’d probably care about things like breath. harry grabbed you by the shoulders, much like he did earlier that same day, and guided you into the room further, finding the large sofa and pushing you onto it. falling back, you glanced up at his towering figure. harry was already tall, but his powerful presence added a less literal height to him, and his shadow looked over you. you couldn’t help but stare at him as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders, exposing some of your favourite tattoos of his. you got to your knees so that you were closer to his body and you finally relaxed in his presence, touching all the places you’d dreamed about. your hands raked up his torso to his chest and his head leant down to kiss you again. his lips were perfect and seemed made to be against yours so tightly, and made for the crook of your neck as well as they kissed and sucked there too. the fire in the corner of your eyes illuminated the small amount of gold in harry’s hair and he looked as angelic as he always did in your dreams.

“am i better than him?” harry murmured against your neck. the question caught you off guard. he’d only known one other person you’d had a sexual relationship with since you two became friends and that was a sound tech from one of his old touring groups that you had a small fling with. him and harry never got along and harry even accused him of purposely messing his sound up during a performance once. harry has walked in on you giving him head in your dressing room once and it was incredibly awkward but you both moved past it.

“who are you talking about?”

“you know, that arsehole sound tech from the american tour. do i kiss you better than him?” you could hear the layers to his voice- he was asking with a confidence that you felt straight in your core, but there was another layer to it- insecurity.

“god yes,” you gushed, he had to at least know how he physically made you feel even if you can’t admit your feelings, “you kiss far better then he ever could.”

an idea came into your head at this, “in fact, i bet you’ll feel better in my mouth then he did.” harry jaw slacks slightly and you give him a shy smile. talking like this wasn’t something you ever tried when you were having sex, but harry made you want to be honest. it was the closest you could get to confessing your love to him, and you’d take what you could get from harry right now. stunned into silence, you continue to undress harry, removing his vest to expose his lean stomach and small trail of hair from his belly button, that you kissed all the way down. he let out a sharp breath as soon as you got to the top of his pubic bone, and you finally noticed just how hard harry already was. with a little fascination, you dared to take it to the next level and cupped his length through his trousers, causing harry to groan at the contact. he felt big in your small hand, you couldn’t wait to reveal him, impatiently struggling with his zipper.

“woah, y/n, slow down,” harry puts a finger under your chin and you look up under your lash at him, knelt below him. his smile is a classic harry smile and for a brief second this feels like more than a casual fuck.

“you’re still wearing too much clothing.” harry bends slightly to get to the bottom of your shirt and speedily pulls it over your head, revealing your black cotton bralet and tights. harry’s mouth watered at the sight of you in nothing but your underwear and boots, your long hair falling in messy waves around your minimally tattooed arms. your sure your black eyeliner is smudged and your gloss practically jin existent but harry’s eyes make you feel like he wants nothing more then to fuck you.

“that’s much better,” he smiles again at you, and you take that as a good cue to continue on his member. eagerly, your hands go straight back to his flies, rapidly undoing them and letting his loose fit trousers fall from his hips, exposing his form fitted boxers and you get a much better idea of just how big harry’s cock really was. without realising you mumble, “i want you in my mouth so bad,” under your breath.

“fuck say that again.”

looking under your lashes again, you repeat, “i want your cock in my mouth so bad.” harry groans as his eyes roll back, his words almost being enough without your touch. but your hand still went back to his dick, pulling it out from the restraint of his boxers. it was thick and bigger then you had been with before. without missing a beat, your hand pumped him a few times, and his hips reacted instantly. as if beckoning for your lips to surround his cock, his hips thrust towards you again, and you obliged, licking and then parting your wetted lips for the head of his dick. the pre-cum touched your tongue and it urged you to take more of him further, swiping your tongue on the underside as you push more in. harry moans, gripping your scruffy hair in his large hand, and had to restrain from pushing your mouth around his whole length. as your mouth got acquainted with him, you started to move up and down the length, as harry’s moans got higher and louder.

“y/n your mouth is fucking magic.” the praise went straight to your clit and your underwear was dampening at the knowledge of the dirty things your mouth was doing.

“can you- fuck- can you grab my balls?” you responded immediately and cupped them lightly whilst continuing to bob your head on his cock.

“didn’t know you could you use your mouth for such dirty things, y/n. do i fill you better then he did?”his jealousy fuelled you to go even quicker, this time switching up to concentrating on his swollen head, your tongue lapping against it feverishly, whilst your hand pumped the rest of him. the combination of your hand and mouth was enough to drive harry insane.

“you do so good y/n, i’m gonna cum soon okay?” you release him from your mouth, and keep stroking him, eager for him to orgasm. you couldn’t describe the desperation you had to see the way he looked as he climaxed. if you were to die after this, you knew you would die happy, if only to have seen harry in that state of euphoria that only you could bring him to.

“fuck y/n i’m gonna cum,” harry pants, his thighs tensing and his eyes glazing over. you aim him over your chest and feel his load fall all over your breasts, soaking your bralet as he lets out a breathy moan. his breathes are loud and aside from the fire crackling are the only noise filling the space of the living room. you let his now soft cock go and fall back onto the sofa, too tired to think about all of what just happened, the only thought on your mind is of harry’s moans on repeat. your chest is sticky but you’re too exhausted to care. harry has slowly crept over to sit next to you on the sofa, and you’re unspokenly thankful he hasn’t distanced himself afterwards.

“i need to clean you up.” harry disappears as quickly as he arrived and comes back with a warm flannel. wiping your chest, you watch his face as his brows furrow delicately on his forehead and his mouth is slightly crooked in concentration. you loved every single portion of his face, and suddenly it meant something different. you had seen his face at it’s most real and vulnerable and you had that memory forever.

unfortunately moments like the one you and harry had finally shared don’t last forever, and once harry’s done wiping your breasts off, he leaves a kiss on your forehead, grabs his clothes and leaves you on the sofa.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #friends to lovers #bestfriend!harry #fine line album #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles icons #harry styles one shot #writing #one direction smut

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN.

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes!

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists. She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu #gojo satoru #fushiguro megumi #ryoumen sukuna #uhh im lazy #to tag #THANK YOU FOR THE MILESTONE <3 #sukirichi #suki: 2.4k milestone event

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lilchibi-chan · 4 years ago

Text

Reader Has a BF x MHA Boys Pt.3

Part 1

Part 2

It’s the next day and everything from yesterday feels like a dream. You’ve never seen Todoroki that angry and even though you weren’t proud of what he did, you thought it was kinda hot. Seeing Todoroki as something other than composed brought this sort of rise out of you.

This week, UA is going to be doing a cultural festival and class 1A is in charge of coming up with different booths to have for everyone to enjoy when they come to the school.

Some people came up with games like ring toss and the game where you knock down the bottles, other people said a booth where you sell charms for luck, love, etc.

“Ooo!! Guys!! What if we do a kissing booth?!” Mina asks excited

Some of the other girls and boys agreed that a kissing booth was a great idea.

“I really do not think that is and appropriate feature that we should advertise as an academic institution,” Iida says

“Oh c’mon, Iida! It should be fun, that is what the cultural festival is all about,” you say, encouraging Mina’s idea

Everyone else chimed in and thought it was a great idea as well.

Iida was out voted.

“Well, if you all want it so bad, then pick who would be in charge of running the booth,” Iida says

“I think Y/n should do it,” Mina says

“Mina!! I have a boyfriend! I can’t,” you say protesting the idea

“Oh yeah.. you’re right.. sorry,” she says rubbing the back of her head

“W-what about Todoroki,” Hagakure asks shyly

Although no one can see her, you can tell that she was blushing.

“Todoroki would never-”

“I mean I don’t see why not,” Todoroki says, cutting you off

“R-really,” you ask confused with a tinge of irritation

“Yeah,” he says monotone

“Oh,” you say somewhat sad

You don’t even know why you’re sad. Todoroki is single and free to do what he wants. Not just because he’s single, but he’s also his own person.

But you also know Todoroki has feelings for you.

‘Maybe he’s trying to make you jealous’ you think to yourself

‘No way, Todoroki isn’t that petty’ you mentally respond

“Y/N, you feelin okay,” Mina asks, snapping you out of your thoughts

“Y-yeah, just zoned out..sorry,” you say, putting on a smile

“Okay, so now we just need a girl to run the booth with Todoroki,” Mina says excitedly

“What about you Mina, it was you who came up with it. It would only be right,” you say

“Sure, I don’t mind,” she says

“Alright, then it’s settled, Mina and Todoroki will run the kissing booth,” Iida says

Mina moves closer to you and whispers

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on Todoroki for you”

“W-what’re you talking about,” you ask nervous as to what she’s implying

“I saw how you reacted when Hagakure offered him up. I’m not dumb ya know,” she says

“I know,” you say laughing,“but it’s not like that”

“Okaaaayyy,” Mina says not believing you

“It’s not,” you say back

“Look, I’m not gonna bully you into admitting it, but I can see that there’s an attraction there,” she says and makes her way to her desk

‘I don’t have feelings for him. I mean he is handsome and brave and when he smiles it’s really cute,”

‘Don’t forget that time with the tub,’ your other inner voice chimes in

‘Yeah that was-wait!! NO!! YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!’ you say mentally shaking yourself to get a grip

“Y/n,” Todoroki says, snapping his fingers and taking you out of your head

“Y-yeah, sorry what was that,” you ask

He laughs

“You somewhat resembled Midoriya for a second when you were thinking to yourself,” he starts,“but I was asking if you wanted to have lunch together today.”

“Of course!! We always eat lunch together,” you say with a smile

“Good...I was hoping yesterday didn’t mess anything up between you and I,” he says

“Todoroki, we’re best friends. Nothing can break us apart. Not even a misunderstanding with my boyfriend,” you say honestly

At lunch, you, Todoroki, and the rest of the squad sat together. You sat across from Todoroki.

“Todoroki,” you speak up

“Yes,” he says

“Why-why are you doing the kissing booth,” you ask, wanting desparately to know

“Just because,” he says, not looking you in the eye

“Todoroki, have you even had your first kiss yet,” you ask

“N-no,” he says, somewhat embarrassed,“but what does it matter, if it doesn’t mean anything.”

“A first kiss is special and it should be with someone you truly care for and they care for you too,” you say honestly

He looks at you for a moment

“Mm,” is all he says and goes back to eating

It’s been a couple weeks since you and Bakugou have spoken and the same goes for your boyfriend.

Flashback

‘We need to talk,’ you text your boyfriend

‘Sure babe...is everything alright,” he asks concerned

‘Yeah...I just really need to see you,’ you respond and send him a ping to a park that happens to be half way between UA and his house

You decide to sit on the swing set and wait for your boyfriend.

There is a soft breeze blowing, so you decide to close your eyes and hum a tune until he arrives. Softly swinging back and forth for a few moments, allowing the wind to caress your skin and kiss your hair.

All the while, your mind drifted back and forth between your boyfriend and Bakugou until it just just stopped and stayed on Bakugou. That moment in the photo booth kept sticking out like a sore thumb.

You could only think about how it felt when you two were close and how badly you wanted to kiss him. You never really felt that with your boyfriend as long as you two have been together. You were definitely attracted to your boyfriend, but the way you felt with Bakugou just felt so...magnetic.

“Hey,” you hear behind you,causing you to jump

“Hey,” you say, knowing exactly who it is

“So what did you wanna talk about”

“Us” you say, getting straight to the point

“Where is this coming from,” your boyfriend asks confused

“We’ve needed to talk for a little while, but it was further confirmed today,” you say anxiously

“Well, what happened today,” he asks starting to get mad about what you might be implying

You explain everything that happened today, even the part about the photo booth.

You both sit in silence but you can tell he’s fuming.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he says getting up to punch a tree

“If you’re gonna kill him, then you’re gonna have to kill me too,” you say honestly

“And why the fuck is that,” he asks getting angrier

You stay quiet, dreading the thought of telling him, but you swore not to break his trust.

“You wanted him to kiss you,” he says, almost as if reading your mind

“How long have you felt this way,” he asks, demanding an answer

“A while...” you say, not giving him eye contact

“How long is a while”

You stay quiet

“Goddammit! Answer me!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING ME LOOK FUCKING STUPID?”

“LOOK I NEVER SAID I WAS PROUD OF IT OKAY,” you say finally losing it,“AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I NEVER ACTED ON ANY OF WHAT I FELT BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND HAD ENOUGH RESPECT FOR YOU AND OUR RELATIONSHIP!”

“OH YEAH AND HOW IS LETTING HIM KISS YOU RESPECTFUL?!”

“WE DIDN’T KISS!”

“BUT YOU WANTED TO...and that’s the point. You may not have physically cheated, but your emotions are clearly with him.”

He turns around and starts rubbing his forehead.

“You know what,” he starts,“maybe we need some time apart. You gotta figure out what you want and I’m not gonna be made to look like an idiot while you do so, so for now we’re done. Don’t call or text me until you’ve made up your mind,” he says then walks away

End of flashback

You’ve mostly been hanging out with the girls and even switched seats to sit next to Mina leaving Bakugou with Kiri which you knew he wouldn’t mind. As much as he wouldn’t like to admit it, Kirishima is his best friend.

“So how’s the whole situation going,” Mina asks. She could tell something was off between you and Bakugou and you knew she wouldn’t stop until she figured out what it was so she is the only one that knows everything from how long you’ve had feelings for Bakugou up until the events that took place two weeks ago.

“Honestly...horrible. I’m still so confused. Part of me wants to be with my boyfriend and work it out and the other huge part of me just wants to give everything to Bakugou. Why is this so hard,” you say, putting your head down on the desk

“If you’re having this hard of a time, maybe you should make a pros and cons list for each of the boys,” she says jokingly,but with a hint of seriousness

“A pros and cons list?” You ask

“Yeah. Just write out everything you feel for your boyfriend, then everything you feel for Bakugou and make a list of what the pros and cons are for dating each boy. At the end if you’re still confused, you might just have to suck it up and make a choice. They’re not gonna wait forever and you can’t really make them,” Mina says

“You’re so right, Mina”

When you get to your dorm after classes, you sit down at you desk and take out a notepad. You start to write how you feel about Bakugou and your boyfriend, but write them as if you’re writing a letter and you just let everything out.

Once finished, you start on the pros and cons list for them.

At the end, you’re no longer confused. In fact you feel like a weight has been lifted. Emphasis on A WEIGHT. There were other things you had to do before everything goes back to “normal”

“Hey...Can we meet...”

“Sure...I’ll come to you. See you soon”

Once you all get back from the trip, you drop your luggage off at your dorm and decide to take a trip to your boyfriend’s house since you got back pretty early in the day.

When you finally reach, you ring the doorbell.

You wait a couple seconds before someone answers.

“Y/N?!” your boyfriend asks surprised

“Hey,” you say smiling,“I figured I would come surprise you since we came back from our trip!”

“I’m definitely surprised,” he says

“Can I come in then since the first phase of my mission is complete,” you ask

“Yeah, sure...sorry” he says nervously

He unlocks the gate and opens the house door for you.

When you enter, you see a pair of shoes there that you’ve never seen before.

“Oh you have company,” you ask, taking off your shoes and putting on a pair of slippers you left over there

“Heyyyy, you’re missing the movie! What’s taking so long out the-oh! Who’s this babe?” the girl asks

She was stunningly beautiful and seemed really nice.

“She’s an old friend from middle school. She was just stopping by since we haven’t seen each other in a while,” he says, blatantly lying

‘She’s an old friend,’ just kept circulating in your head, cutting deeper and deeper each time

“Okay, well I’ll leave you both to it then,” she says,stepping down to put her shoes on

“I’ll call you when I get home,” she says to your boyfriend and kisses him on his lips, to which he responds by kissing back

“It was nice to meet you...”

“Y/N,” you say,“but it’s not really worth remembering. I won’t be here much longer,” you say, the words stinging as they came off your tongue

After she walks out, you slap your boyfriend

“So this is what you have been doing. This is why you give me one word answers or just ignore me completely. Ya know I’ll give it to you...she really is beautiful. Gorgeous even...I wish you two happiness. I really do,” you say, trying to fight to tears but they just keep coming

“Y/N.. I didn’t mean-“

“Didn’t mean what? To cheat on me? You can save that sorry ass excuse or whatever “apology” you think would be acceptable. You told her I’m a friend, but you’re wrong. I’m nothing to you and you’re dead to me,” you say turning around to leave

“Oh,by the way, act like you never fucking knew me. We’re done.”

With that you walk out with your slippers on your feet and shoes in hand. As you’re walking back to the bus, you see, your now ex boyfriend’s, current girlfriend.

You try to walk past her, but she recognizes you.

“Hey Y/N, long time, no se-” she stops when she sees you’re crying

“Are you alright?” She asks, genuinely concerned

“I’m not just a friend,” you say quiet and your voice cracking really bad

“’Scuse me,” she asks, not quite hearing you

“I’m not.just.a friend. He lied to you and he lied to me. You seem like a sweet girl and you’re stunning, so I see why he would pick you over me and you seem nice enough. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You deserve better. I deserve better,” you say adding emphasis on I

“My bus is here. Have a good rest of your evening,” you say getting on

You cry the rest of the way to UA.

Once you arrive, you head straight to the dorms. On the way to your room, you bump into someone and don’t look up to see who it is. You apologize for bumping into them and keep on going.

You throw down your shoes and slowly crawl into bed, pulling the covers over your head

Soon there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Go away,” you say softly

“Y/n...it’s me,” the familiar voice says

You get out of bed and make your way to the door, pausing before you decide to open it.

“You okay,” Kirishima asks softly

“He cheated on me...” you say, tears welling up again

He pulled you into a hug and held you tight.

“Whatever you have to let out, just let it out. Cry all you want. I’ll be right here. Even if my shirt gets soaked, I won’t pull away. I’m here y/n”

You let him fully enter the room, still hugging and close the door behind him. You guide him to your bed and both lay down, him still holding you against his chest.

“You wanna know what makes this worse...he kissed her right in front of me. Do you believe that? Even said I was just an old friend. We dated for 2 years! How could he be so cold?...It didn’t help that she was so beautiful either...She looked like an idol. I see why he would wanna be with her over me. I’m just regular.”

“Y/n, you are the most beautiful and amazing person I have ever met. I see other girls and not one of them outshines how fucking beautiful you are. I don’t even think the word beautiful is enough to describe you. You’re perfect. Don’t let what this guy did ruin you. You deserve much better and you were way out of his league anyways.”

“Thanks, Kiri,” you say into his chest

It was silent for a while. Kirishima just stroked your hair or rubbed your back in small circles in efforts to console you.

You started to stir in his arms because you wanted to sit up. He unwrapped them, so that you could get up and you wiped your face. You headed to the bathroom and rinsed your face with some water to calm the puffiness from your crying.

When you re-enter, Kirishima is awake and leaning his back on your head board.

You join him on the bed and he moves over to give you more space. You lay your head on his shoulder and he starts massaging your temples.

“Kiri,” you start

“Hmm,” he answers

You sit up and turn to face him.

“Can I try something?”

“Sure. What do you wanna try?”

“Don’t freak out, okay?”

You move in closer until your lips are only a few centimeters apart

“Y/n...are you sure?”

You look in his eyes and see he’s genuinely concerned.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re emotional and I don’t want you to make a mistake you’ll regret because of how you’re feeling right now. I’ve dreamt of this day for so long and-”

“Wait...what do you mean you’ve dreamt of this day for so long” you ask confused

“I really like you, y/n. I’ve never really felt this way about anyone, but I’ll try my best to tell you. From the day I met you, I’ve had the BIGGEST crush on you. You’re all I think about when I’m alone. If I’m not next to you, I think about you and what you could be doing and-“

You cut him off by crashing your lips together.

He’s surprised, but soon accepts it.

“Wait,” he says pulling away,“as much as I want this to continue, you just found out you were cheated on. I want you to be sure about your feelings and you should sort that out. I’m not leaving. I’m never leaving you, but you should think about if this is what you want.”

“You’re right. The last thing I would EVER want to do is hurt you and...no you’re absolutely right,” you say

It’s quiet between the both of you now until he finally speaks up.

“I can go if this is too awkward,” he says getting up from the bed

You grab his hand and look up at him with pleading eyes

“Stay...please. I don’t wanna be alone right now and you’re my best friend and the only person I want with me.”

He agrees and takes a spot on the floor right next to your bed.

114 notes · View notes

aiekerman · 4 years ago

Text

Easy pt2 - Eren Jaeger

Eren Jaeger x Reader - fluff

Pt.1

AN - Okay so a couple people asked so I finally wrote it put here’s part 2! I realise you can kinda read it by itself? But reading the first part will give better context. Honestly I wish I could write NSFW to end this off but I’m so bad at it. Maybe one day lol. Also I’m trying to keep my reader as gender neutral as possible, but please let me know if there’s anywhere I can improve!

I’ve titled it the same for continuity sake, but song vibes for this is We Belong by Dove Cameron.

Content Warnings - Alcohol, swearing (I apologise if I miss anything here but I know these would be the main two)

Summary - Two idiots in love attend the end of semester party and despite attempts to not end up together, they struggle to keep swallowing down their feelings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jean’s house is filled with over-zealous college students, dropping all their inhibitions at the door after finishing finals.

You were included in that classification. Having made a bee-line for the kitchen and immediately filled a cup with your drink of choice.

That was three hours ago now and the buzz of alcohol is felt all over. You wander from the bathroom after fixing yourself up, not that much could be done in your current state. Hair frizzing like a tumbleweed. The overshirt you’d arrived in was now secured around your waist to fight the heat of the house, leaving your top half in a tank top.

Moving to allow the next person into the bathroom you wander into the crowd, eyes scanning for one of your friends.

Across the room you spot the back of Eren’s head, confident it was him despite your tipsy state from the sight of his brown hair scraped back in a bun.

Just as you push your body forward to go over to him a hand wraps around your wrist and tugs you in the direction of the kitchen. Your head snapped over to the body pulling you along and see that it’s the party host himself.

‘Y/N, c’mon, shots!’ Jean’s words are short and to the point, the effort required to be heard over the music making for terse conversations.

Your hazy brain immediately forgets your plan to say hi to Eren and smile after Jean, letting him lead you to the alcohol.

His kitchen features a small island, which for the night seemingly doubles as a bar. The entire surface is spread with various bottles and mixers and cups. As he pulls you up to it his eyes are scanning the selection, ‘What are we feeling? Tequila?’

Your face pulls into a grimace and your head shakes fervently. Instead you choose to reach for the fireball whiskey, the thought of the cinnamon taste much more appealing.

Jean rolls his eyes, but reaches for two shot glasses regardless, ‘Pussy.’

‘Excuse me for wanting to drink something that actually tastes good. You know how bad I gag on tequila.’

Jean leans down to your ear to avoid having to yell as he speaks, ‘Keep your voice down, I think Bertolt might get hard just hearing you talk about gagging.’

Your eyes widen at his words, and your eyes swing around the kitchen, landing on Bertolt who is leant against the refrigerator. His eyes are glancing at you, and you see his face turn red when you catch his eyes. He lifts his cup in greeting and you give back a small wave.

Eren’s words from a few weeks ago echo in your brain, but you mentally shake it off as Jean hands you your shot. After a small tap of the glasses in cheer with him you drop your head back to drink. The liquid gives a warm burn down the back of your throat, and you smile at Jean as he scrunches up his nose.

‘Shut up it’s so good.’

As Jean opens his mouth to retaliate, you feel an arm slide around your waist, and a hand comes up to cover your eyes. A familiar voice floats to your ear, ‘I know I am but what are you?’

You giggle and attempt to wiggle from the grasp but the arm secures more tightly. ‘Guess who?’

‘What do I get if I win?’

‘You get to do a shot with me.’

‘And if I lose?’

‘You have to do a shot with me.’

‘Wow, talk about peer pressure, Eren.’

His arms release you and one comes up to rest over your shoulder. You twist to look up at him, his green eyes are hazy, clearly affected by the alcohol himself. His smile is almost childlike as he beams down at you, ‘Hey.’

‘Hey you,’ you giggle back, wrapping an arm around his back.

The two of you always leant on the affectionate side, hip bumps and head resting on shoulders never amiss. But when alcohol got involved, you were verging on touchy.

He drops a kiss to the top of your head and reaches to pour three more shots, sliding one to Jean who thanks him, knocks it back and then wanders off again.

You lift the small glass and laugh as he wraps his free arm around yours, elbows hooked together as you both down the drink. You both erupt in giggles as you push up onto your toes slightly to reach his height and access your shot without spilling it completely.

Dropping the empty cups down he moves his arm from your shoulder to rest on your lower back.

‘You talked to Bertolt yet?’

‘I waved to him but haven’t talked to him.’

‘Well what are you waiting for?!’

‘How do you even know he wants to sleep with me?’

His eyebrows furrow and he steps back to look you over, ‘Why wouldn’t he?’

You shove at his shoulder and step back, reaching for a glass of water. Pouring one for Eren as well, which he accepts with a smile.

The two of you worked in sync throughout parties, despite spending half the night apart. But when one of you went out for fresh air chances are the other would be close behind, not even on purpose. So when you knew you needed some water it was only automatic to get one for him too. There was almost a sixth sense between you.

You start sipping at the water, attempting to balance out from the last two shots that were hitting you quick. From your peripheral you notice Bertolt’s tall frame head towards the back door. Your eyes quickly turn back to Eren who is smiling across the room at a girl you don’t recognise.

‘What happened to just chilling for the night?’

‘Flirting is just chilling. We flirt.’

You internally sigh, flexing your jaw slightly at his words.

‘That is not the same.’

You breathe deep to rid yourself of the strange feeling bubbling in your stomach.

What have I got to lose?

‘Hey I’m gonna head outside for some air.’

‘Oh cool, I’ll come with you. It is pretty stuffy in here.’

‘No, Eren.’

‘What?’

You feel your stomach drop at the kicked puppy expression that overtakes his face. Scrambling to correct your harsh tone, ‘I think I saw Bertolt head out that way.’

This time his face is overtaken by the cheekiest grin he can muster. His hip bumps against your’s and his hand reaches up to pinch your cheek. You swat his hand away and nod over to the girl, ‘Go get ‘em tiger.’

He rolls his eyes, pushing at your shoulder once more, nudging you in the direction of the back door, ‘Look who’s talking.’

Stepping outside the cold air bites at your cheek and you quickly untie your overshirt and slip it on, eyes glancing around for Bertolt in the process.

The garden has a few bodies lingering around, most being people outside for cigarette breaks, one girl in the corner losing her last few drinks.

You spot Bertolt sitting on a bench, scrolling through his phone. Sucking in a breath you remind yourself why the hell not? One last time before making your way over to him.

‘Hey, how’s your night going?’ You drop down onto the bench next to him, close enough for his knee to brush against your’s.

‘Hi Y/N, I’m having an alright night.’ He smiles warmly back. Returning the gesture you glance over his face, he was cute enough. But something in the pit of your stomach has reservations, you chose to push it down further.

‘Better now I just got here?’ You nudge his knee with your own and he laughs, giving a small nod. You let out a sigh, maybe your flirting skills weren’t entirely dead.

You begin to think of your next witty remark when he speaks again, ‘Although I’m shocked Jaeger let you out of his sight.’

‘What?’ You felt as though a brick had just hit you across the face. The feeling in your stomach came flooding back up. Now very aware of the tingling across your skin where Eren had been holding you only minutes ago. Your shoulder, your waist, your cheek.

It was just the alcohol. Yeah, that was it.

‘Please, you aren’t that drunk are you?’

You force out a laugh. But your eyes still clearly read confusion. He tilts his head, his smile almost apologetic.

‘You’re really fooling yourself that hard?’

‘If you’re trying to suggest that Eren and I are a thing then you are the drunk one here.’

‘I’m not saying you guys are a thing, but you’re clearly in love with each other.’

‘Shut up,’ you swear it’s the weakest your voice has ever sounded. Your head turns when you hear the sound of his voice floating out the back door, and you see his figure in the kitchen window as he brazenly flirted.

‘He’s just my best friend.’ You mumble out as you turn your head back to Bertolt, who’s raised his eyebrows.

‘Best friend’s are in love all the time. It’s often the best foundation for a relationship.’

‘If this is just some elaborate way of saying you don’t want to get with me, you can just say it. I’m a big girl. I'll live.

‘Y/N, you’re gorgeous. Under any other circumstances I would be honoured to be your hook up for the evening. But I’m also a hopeless romantic, and I’m not gonna get in the way of you two.’

‘It was his idea for me to talk to you tonight.’

‘His way of stopping himself from trying it with you. Haven’t you guys already hooked up before?’

‘Uh, not really. We don’t talk about that though. Like it never happened.’

‘You and Eren, two of the biggest clowns on campus when you’re together. And you never make jokes about how you almost hooked up?’

Your brain goes blank. You didn’t talk about it. You also didn’t talk about why you didn’t talk about it. It was just an unspoken rule, and you don’t even remember when you both decided it. You tried not to even think about it. Eren was your best friend. That was all.

‘I-’

‘Hey, look I’m sorry if I’ve upset you at all. But I mean, I don’t know if anyone talks about it. But they definitely all think it. You’re Jaeger’s. And he’s yours. Even if it’s not really official.

Your mouth opens and closes for something to say. But your head is empty, except for flashes of memories.

You and Eren, half undressed and laying bed together. Giggling like idiots. Trying to stop laughing for five minutes so you could actually have sex.

‘How about we go grab another drink?’

He takes your hand lightly and leads you inside, back to the kitchen island of alcohol.

You grab for a random bottle, looking like some kind of rum? And pour a measure - or three - into a red cup. You smile up at Bertolt who’s mixed his own drink and cheers.

As you lift the cup to your mouth you glance Eren and the girl, her hand resting on his forearm as she giggles. Without thinking you down the full cup, immediately regretting the action as it burns down your throat.

‘Woah, you okay?’ Bertolt’s eyes wide as he takes in your scrunched up face.

‘Yeah, I think I might call it a night.’

‘I’m sorry again, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.’

‘It’s fine. I probably needed to hear it. I’ll be honest I start to think it all the time. Then I just shove down the feeling. Thank you, Bertolt.’

‘Have a good summer, Y/N.’ He leans in for a one armed hug and you reciprocate. Smiling and thinking to yourself that he was a sweet boy, but apparently you were already unofficially taken.

He gives a pat to your shoulder before moving off. You stare off ahead, thoughts swimming more wildly as the last drink hits you.

Eren spots your pained expression and immediately, but politely, leaves the girl and takes the distance in two strides to reach you, his hands gripping your shoulders.

You jump at the contact, breath catching as you look up and meet his green eyes. Heart pounding harder at their intensity.

‘What’s wrong, did Bertolt do something?’

It takes all your sober brain cells to keep your eyes from his lips, but once you register his words you shake your head and furrow your eyebrows.

‘No, no he was fine. I, uh, think I’m gonna head home. I could use a lay down.’

‘Oh okay. I can go find our jackets if you wanna say bye to Jean for us?’

Your face heats up at the immediacy in his reaction to leave with you. He did it all the time, but it was now in your head that it had underlying meaning.

‘I’ll be fine, you stay. I only live two buildings over, idiot.’ Your words are half-hearted as you watch his expression sour slightly.

‘Shut up. When have I ever let you walk home alone this late, or when you’re this drunk?’

You drop your head, head not in the frame to argue with him. Turning on your heels you mumble back, ‘I’ll find Jean.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You giggle as you manage to finally get your key in the door and push it open, finally managing to shrug Eren off your shoulders.

He’d spent the walk draped over your back, waddling behind you with his legs spread wide, making sure to not catch your feet and send you both tumbling.

Now though he pushed off his shoes, and confidently strolled to your kitchen. He knew exactly where your cups were kept, along with a bag of chips with the intention of sobering you both up to save the hangover tomorrow.

Your eyes took him in as he made his way about the kitchen, pouring glasses of water filling a bowl with chips.

It was all the alcohol’s fault, you kept telling yourself. It was the alcohol that kept flashing images of that night through your brain. And why you felt a stirring of butterflies in your stomach as he flopped onto the couch and spread an arm out, gesturing for you to tuck yourself into his side.

It was all so easy with the two of you. Or at least it had been until the idea of how you could possibly be hopelessly devoted to each other was thrust from the deep recesses of your brain.

‘Why don’t we talk about it?’

He glances up from shoving a handful of chips in his mouth, raising his eyebrows in question.

You repeat your statement.

He scrunches up his face, realising what you mean. Swallowing his food, he shrugs. ‘I don’t know, cause we just don’t.’

Thinking for a moment you reach into your jeans pocket, fishing out a ten dollar bill.

Striding across the room you pull out his palm and place the money in his hand.

‘I wanna talk about it.’

His face falls slightly when he realises how serious you are, his eyes trained on his outstretched palm.

‘Why?’ His voice is dangerously quiet.

You falter, your mouth is running ten miles ahead of your brain and it was running out of steam as the reality of the territory you were stepping on hit you.

You start to speak, much less confident than before, ‘Cause it’s weird. We joke about everything. But we can’t even so much as mention it.’

‘Why does it matter? It’s been over a year and you wanna talk about it now?’

‘Yeah.’ Eren stands, his eyes never leaving yours. The tension filling the room was suffocating, your neck burning up under his stare.

‘But why?’

‘Because we should talk about it. It’s not healthy for our friendship to just pretend it never happened.’

Your stomach is twisting in knots in nervousness and regret for opening your mouth. But your chest has a burn of frustration for his attempts to avoid the subject.

‘We’ve gotten this far just fine. Why now?’

‘God fucking christ, Eren. Because I love you!’

You freeze. Bold running cold as you choke. Hands slapping up to cover your mouth, for fear of any more impromptu confessions slipping out.

Tears immediately start to fill your eyes, although you’re unsure why.

Eren is staring, open mouthed. His face is flushing red, thoughts firing off as he processed your words. His voice is suddenly much softer.

‘You know, I don’t believe in love at first sight,’ he steps toward you, ‘and I still don’t. But the first time I made you laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever felt my insides light up so fast.’

He’s right in front of you now, pushing your arms away from your face so that his hands can cup it. Your breathing quickens.

‘Just every happy receptor going off. And I knew I never wanted to stop making you laugh for the rest of my life. We didn’t have sex that night cause I just had to keep hearing that giggle.’

A tear slips out of your eye, but it’s quickly wiped off with his thumb.

‘And when I woke up sober the next morning, I got so fucking scared that I’d mess it up if we were together, and that I couldn’t hear you laugh anymore. So I shoved it all down.’

His chest is a breath away from yours, this time you can’t stop your eyes looking to his lips.

You think to yourself I’ve kissed Eren before. We’re literally talking about the time we kissed. Why am I so nervous?

His voice, breathy and hushed brings you back from your thoughts.

‘Y/N.’

‘Eren?’

‘I love you.’

‘Really?’

His forehead falls against yours as a laugh escapes him, shaking his head before pressing his warm lips to yours. Your arms are like magnets to wrap around his neck and drag him impossibly closer.

And just like always you fall in sync, jumping into his arms as they wrap around your thighs.

A giggle escapes you as he carries you off towards your bedroom. Eren’s insides light up again, like the first time, like every time.

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader #aot x reader #aot imagines #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #snk x reader #snk imagines #eren jeager fluff #eren jaeger fic

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